Berry Balloons
by RadioButtons
Summary: In an odd weird way, Ichigo and Rukia are best friends.They're both not exactly sure how and when they became friends,but somehow something starts changing them and their views on each other.Is there any way to deal with falling fall for your best friend?
1. You're my best friend

_** You're my best friend

* * *

**_

If it weren't for the fact that the idiot who was standing next to me was my best friend, I'd have just left him on the sidewalk and drove off laughing sadistically.

But no, considering the odd fact that I had some strange feeling for him already beginning to grow in me, I couldn't leave him there.

I sighed as he entered by beat up green chipped Honda. I actually hated my car but stupid Ichigo had to go on about how much he liked it and how it suited me.

Me?

Definitely not.

This car had the nastiest green to it, like the color of nausea if you could see it. The tires were already covered in muck from all the years no one had cleaned it. It was practically caked dry on it. Plus there were already bug guts on the window too. Yuck.

_This_ car suited _me_?

Glad to know my best friend thought of me as an ugly green car with poop on its wheels.

My best friend was most definitely insane.

Ichigo hopped in the passenger seat next to me with a grumpy face and his arms crossed over his chest.

Since it was already _three_ in the friggin'_ morning_, I wasn't in the mood for his crabbiness.

Or it was at least close to three, only ten minutes to go. Either way it was too late for me to be out and cheery.

When he called me about fifteen minutes ago I didn't even bother to put a bra on. Who the hell is gonna see me at three in the morning anyway? Just in case though I put on a baggy sweater.

Besides, having a cup of coffee at Starbucks seemed good right about now.

In the passenger seat beside me in my tiny cramped car Ichigo gave a long frustrated sigh through his nostrils.

I ignored it and began to drive to a wonderfully awaited Starbucks.

Out came another, angrier sigh from his nose. So considering the amazingly cool bestiest best friend that I am, I turned to him and rolled my eyes.

"What's eating your cranky ass?" I asked, slightly turning to face him.

A grunt came from him and a moment after that another sigh.

Not getting an answer from Ichigo was like wasting about thirty-six seconds out of my life until he finally responded because he felt like he needed to get it out.

"Some crazy girl kissed me and it felt like I kissed a monkey." He replied to me, visibly ashamed.

_That's it? Like you haven't kissed a monkey before_. I thought to myself, annoyed at how stupid his reason was.

I gave a smug smile. "What, did she taint your innocent virgin lips?" was my sarcastic response to his moronic reason.

"No," he responded quickly, earning my right eyebrow to raise a centimeter or two. "She was just ugly."

A snort came out of my nose and I laughed. "My, I didn't know you were so picky. I thought that as long as you got laid it wouldn't matter."

He turned his entire face to me and scowled. "Funny."

-

Parallel parking was a bit difficult for me. Considering I lived in a large city you'd expect me to get used to it and be a pro. But no, it doesn't work that way for me. Most of the time I walk or ride my moms bicycle from the seventies.

I don't need to use a car unless I feel lazy or if I need to go somewhere far.

So parking at Starbucks got me angry. And can you believe it?

I work there.

"Look, if you're grumpy just 'cause of that I'm gonna leave you here at Starbucks and have you walk home." I shut the door and stood on the sidewalk waiting for him.

Even though the streetlight barely illuminated the streets I could still see Ichigo through the window glaring daggers at me.

Starbucks didn't open at this hour but since I have the keys to it I'm able to go in whenever I want and brew myself a nice cup of Café Au Lait.

"I'm counting to ten and if you're not out by then I'm staying in the café until it opens." I warned. "Besides, I have the keys with me, and I know you have no clue how to hotwire a car." In my attempt to provoke him I took the keys out of my pocket and jingled them like bells.

After I counted to ten and he still hadn't come out I unlocked the door to Starbucks and let myself in, but I heard the car door shut quietly and some incoherent grumbling and I smiled to myself.

I'd love to say in a sense that I have Ichigo whipped, which to another person could be true, but I still don't think so.

Sure he listens to me, but every now and then, even though I specifically tell him not to, he brings home girls and, speaking of the fact that it is _my_ apartment he lives in, I find some half naked bitch titted ho in my living room on _my_ couch while Ichigo is on _my_ queen sized bed completely knocked out with drool painting the lower part of his face.

The nerve of him.

Which also leads to my self-consciousness of my boobs.

Every once in a while I find my moronese-speaking best friend telling me I have mosquito bite boobs and that I'm the owner of the itty bitty titty committee.

_Nice._

It isn't my fault I still have the body of an undeveloped teenager. Seriously though, I've seen kids half my age who have huger boobs than me.

How cruel.

I hopped on the counter and sat Indian style on it.

"What can I make you dear grouchy customer of mine?" I asked him eagerly, smiling and leaning forward as he tediously shut the door and walked toward me while pulling up a chair.

He kicked off his shoes and stretched his long legs out and set his feet on the counter where I sat.

"Something that'll keep me up." Came the muttered complaint. He sounded tired and smelled a bit like alcohol. "And a massage."

I couldn't help but smile at how he acted. "Sure Strawberry." I hopped off the counter and started the coffee maker.

It only took about two to three minutes for the coffee to be ready so I jumped back on the counter and handed Ichigo his coffee and sipped mine.

I guess you could say it was days like these at two in the morning, just the two of us, drinking steaming coffee that I really enjoyed.

In my junior year of high school I became best friends with him. I actually knew him since eighth grade and I hated him with a great passion.

Except in high school I guess it changed. For my freshmen year I didn't have a single class with him. It was one of the luckiest years of my high school experience. Next to my junior year, that is.

In my junior year I found that I had every, and I mean _every_, class with him.

Ha, and I thought he was stupid.

At first I thought this entire class thing and being best friends with him would never _ever_ be possible, but oh yes, it happened.

And I found myself hating him again even after the two years I had dealt without him.

What made me become best friends with this bozoslashmoronslashladiesmanslashsweetandhotguyslashass?

No flippin' idea.

In front of me I heard a muffled laugh and I looked down to see what Ichigo was doing.

He was staring at me with a slight smile.

"What are you looking at chicken head?" I frowned at him and attempted to hide my reddening cheeks.

He shook his head while his smile grew wider.

"Nothing you dork. Why were staring at me and spacing out?" As he spoke I watched his lips and more heat came rushing to my cheeks.

The coffee I drank made it worse for me.

I closed my eyes and smirked, "Yeah right man. _Me_ spacing out and staring at _you_?" Damn was I bad liar. "In your dreams."

And all he did was smile and laugh.

* * *

Today we spoke about Amish women.

He jumped in my bed this morning like a large St Bernard, causing me to spring in the air about four to five feet.

"Hey munchkin." Came his breezy, rough voice beside me. His arms were folded behind his head resting on my lavender plush pillow.

With a small sigh I turned to him (after I landed back on my bed), his face mere inches away from me.

I had to remember to breathe right.

But jeez he smelled so good that if I even breathed in I'd be having my heart pumping erratically.

"What is it?"

He turned his body toward me and rested his head on his hand, holding his head up with his arm.

"Just wanted to see my roomy this morning."

This happened every once in a while.

On days when he's in an amazing mood he'll come to my room and pointlessly wake me up and lay there with me. I don't have an extra room in my apartment so Ichigo sleeps on the couch in the living room.

There is no way to count the numerous times I have washed my sofa cushions from the "dirty whore" stains.

_My _apartment is most definitely _not_ a fun house!

I rested my head on my pillow next to his and frowned. "Great, you saw me now get out."

Instead of getting off my bed he scooted closer to me until I could feel the heat coming off of his body. I scooted over on my bed more until I was almost at the edge. He scooted closer again and I groaned.

"Your game isn't working Ichigo." I said, as I lifted a leg over his body and rolled over onto the other side of him.

A tiny whine came from him and I turned over so my back was to him. "C'mon Rukiaaa. Get up and I'll make you some nice eggs with ketchup and homemade OJ."

I huffed. "You suck at cooking."

That wasn't a no though. So he took my last response as a yes and lifted me up by my left leg and placed it over his shoulder having my back to his, upside down, while my head was hitting his lower back.

I growled and crossed my arms over my tiny chest. "If this is your way of being kind and a good friend it isn't working." I complained to him.

Even though I couldn't see his face I could tell he was smiling.

He walked out of my room and out into the living room, which was actually part of my kitchen, and dropped me on the couch uncomfortably causing me to 'oof'.

Being on the couch upside down practically sent all of the blood in my upper body rushing to my head, making me feel like I had an enormous cranium.

While I lay on the couch in an irritating position, not bothering to move, Ichigo whistled, in a manly, cheerful way, making my soon to be disgusting breakfast.

"You sure you don't wanna just put some frozen pancakes in the microwave for me?" I inquired, sitting up and not wanting to start my morning by upchucking.

"Nah cupcake." He called back to me in a mocking, sweet voice.

"How nice of you, diarrhea colored muffin head." I responded back to him sardonically.

Ichigo gave a chuckle and continued on with his lousy cooking.

For a while there was just silence and the sound of birds singing. It was so peaceful that I didn't want to ruin it until I heard Ichigo shout "What the...!" Accompanied with a "fuck."

Abruptly I fell off the couch, rubbed my head and scrambled to the kitchen where Ichigo was. "W-what happened?" I asked, somewhat startled and wobbling next to Ichigo.

Inside the pan were black gooey eggs. Almost like tar, but worse.

"What the hell kinda food did you make Ichigo?" The thing in the pan was disgusting; I don't think I could even call it food.

Both of us stood there and stared into the pan.

Ichigo sniffed. "So much for making you my specialty breakfast." He said as he opened the garbage can with his foot and threw the entire iron pan in the garbage.

I hopped on the kitchen counter next to the sink and smirked, waiting for his next obtuse idea.

He turned to face me and opened the freezer with a slight smile, "Pancakes?"

A laugh escaped by throat and I couldn't help but smile at his suggestion. "Sure, bestie."

* * *

Bleh, anal dwelling monkeys are eating my puppy. And I think I've always discontinued a story and deleted it. Hopefully it won't be the same for this one. :\

I tried to be err… creative? Yeah. Anyways, if you liked it and would like a cup full of ultra cool awesome _Sunny D_ then I suggest you:

Review! (or just yeah…)


	2. Loose Lips

_**II. Loose Lips**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

My ukulele lost two strings today. I thought it was completely unfair because I've had it since I was seven. Rukia said I was jammin' too hard. Which I admit was true.

I got the ukulele when I was five and went to Hawaii with my family. This large Hawaiian man picked me up and put me on his shoulder and plopped a small wooden ukulele in my arms.

Since then I got addicted to playing the ukulele, and when I became best friends with Rukia I used to sing to her.

I still do, but now there's always some weird funny feeling in my gut when I do.

There's always a smile waiting to bloom on her lips.

Rukia plays piano too. She plays all the classics though. Bach, de Falla, Debussy, Elgar, Joplin, Chopin and so on. It's what I consider boring and she considers 'fun'.

In her apartment there's this one room that she never let's me go into: "Penelope's Room".

It's what she named her ebony grand piano. Not Penelope's Room, but Penelope.

I think it's a pretty dorky name.

My ukuleles name is Dyno-mite Hooker.

* * *

Even though she barely ever lets me into Penelope's Room I can still hear her playing the piano in the apartment. Depending on how she feels, like if she's angry you can hear and feel her pounding on the keys. And if she's calm she'll play a slow, relaxing song.

It was only once, and it was where I saw Rukia in a way I hadn't seen before, except on very rare occasions, and she was sitting on the black leather bench, her eyes seemingly closed, playing softly and humming along.

I don't think there's a word that could describe what she looked like to me that day, sitting there.

The entire time she played she didn't know I was there.

So I guess you could that that's one of my favorite memories of her.

-

This morning I lay on my couch and strummed my lacking of two strings Dyno-mite Hooker solemnly.

Rukia walked out of her bedroom and leaned over me, her hair falling down and tickling my face.

Without my permission my mouth curled up and I blew air through my lips causing her to blink and frown.

"Listen sunshine, do you hear yourself playing that crap?" she asked still hovering over me, a slight smile on her face.

Her hovering over me made me stare at her face more than I normally did. Her eyes were my favorite part of her. But when it came down to her lips I didn't know what to think. It sent a horde of butterflies attacking and flying around in my stomach when I even looked at them.

"What the hell do you think?" I retorted back to her. "I'm not deaf y'know."

She leaned back up taking the ukulele out of my arms and holding it up with her. "Then why do you keep playing this junk? Just get it fixed or buy a new one."

I feigned hurt. "Do not call Dyno-mite Hooker junk, and you know exactly why I won't buy a new one."

"Yada yada yada." She rolled her eyes and dropped the ukulele on my chest and walked to the fridge grabbing the half empty gallon of orange juice and chugging it. "I'm just saying that either you fix that thing or you're never playing it again in here."

I grunted and got up from the couch and walked into her room shutting the door behind me.

"Ichigo! You come back out here and do not give me attitude!" Rukia didn't mean it. Just like how I was pretending to be childish, she was pretending to be angry and like a mother.

I walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. Still not sure if Rukia was gonna walk in, I only took my shirt off and waited for the water to heat up.

Barely audible to me was the faint sound of the doorbell ringing and a "hold on." from Rukia.

Startling me, Rukia kicked my butt and I landed in the shower with my pants and body getting wet from warm shower water.

"Dammit Rukia!" I shouted over the shower, my eyebrows furrowing and a scowl beginning to appear on my face.

Rukia looked down at me looking superior and extremely annoyed. All signs of our humor from earlier were gone. What the heck did I do? I questioned myself. "One of your peppy stupid ass groupie girls is here." She stated briefly.

Lately Rukia had had her moods change from smiling to looking displeased and annoyed whenever a girl 'friend' of mine came over. Most of the time they were really stupid and pretty.

She said I have a 'harem' and that she quote 'is most definitely not included in it and never will be' unquote.

So to prove her wrong I told her that I didn't have one, and she stomped on my foot as hard as she could. Which I admit is pretty friggin' hard.

Before I got the chance to grab Rukia and ask her what was going on she disappeared out of the bathroom and accompanied the girl waiting outside the door.

For a moment I just sat there in the tub, letting the water fall on me like rain. My hair was beginning to sop down and stick to my head.

I didn't really know what to do.

Obviously I didn't want to leave Rukia, but I didn't know what to do about the girl waiting outside either. Hey, I never come on to a girl as an ass.

I heard the door shut and a giggly laugh from someone other than Rukia inside the apartment.

Reluctantly, I turned the shower off and walked outside in just my soaking wet shorts and no shirt.

When I walked out water dripped onto the wood floor and I saw that the girl gave me a suggestive look while Rukia rolled her eyes, looking like she wanted to shoot herself.

I don't really remember who exactly the girl was but I'm pretty sure she was from the place I went to a week ago when Rukia picked me up at whatever hell the time was, in the morning.

The girl giggled girlishly and kept eyeing me up and down.

A small cough came from Rukia and she spoke up. "Excuse me, I'll be in the other room."

I wanted to grab Rukia's wrist and make her stay with me but I didn't know what to say, so I let her walk into Penelope's Room and shut the door softly.

With a small, who-the-frig-are-you-? smile, I turned to the giggly waiting girl.

When I saw her face a bit up close it hit me like a brick to the kidney. From what I remember of the night a week ago and what Rukia told me (Rukia said that I complained to her about a girl kissing me like a monkey and how grossed out I was), _she_ was the monkey-kissing girl.

My eyebrow twitched and I let out a "Hey."

Monkey-kissing girl giggled again. "Hi, Ichigo." She looked like she was trying her hardest not to jump on me.

"Um, so what are you doing here?" I asked, not wanting to sound rude or anything similar to that.

She was fiddling with her fingers and blushing a bright pink color. "Well you see, you gave me your number and address and I didn't get a chance to call you, so I decided to come over here." Her brown eyes peered up at me and I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh." Was all I could think of to say.

Monkey-kisser giggled again.

"Well uh, do you wanna go somewhere?" She asked shyly. Swinging her hips from side to side a bit.

I bit my lip and looked down.

"Err, um, I'd love to go with you (not), but um, you see, today was my day off and I guess you could say I wanted to spend it at my apartment and just relax."

Her face fell quite a bit and she tried to smile. "Some other time then?"

In surprise I raised my eyebrows and smiled. "Sure tuts." I tried to say coolly.

Immediately a smile came back on her pink face.

She turned around awkwardly and walked out the door. "Goodbye Ichigo." She said, turning her head back and giving me a wink.

On the inside I cringed.

I sighed, feeling relieved that she left, and went to close the door as soon as she was out of view.

When the door shut everything became silent.

The only noise was the music coming from Penelope.

Rukia was playing my favorite song.

Clair de Lune.

It made my heart beat rhythmically along with the song. Like my heart was its metronome. Whenever I hear her play the song I can always imagine her fingers flowing along the keys and playing.

I inhaled and took the song in along with me. With a bit hesitation, and very little confidence, I opened the door to Penelope's Room and made it clear that I walked in. Rukia didn't seem to notice, but I knew she knew I was there. Standing right behind her. Watching her play.

I closed my eyes and when I opened them the song ended.

Rukia sighed and put her hands on her lap and stared out the large glass window that had sunlight pouring into the room. "Is there something you need Ichigo?" She asked, not looking at me.

My lips curled up involuntarily. "Nothin,' you dweeb."

She sniffed and smiled.

"Then what are you still doing here?" She asked curiously, slightly turning to me. "Why aren't you with your lil pink girl 'friend'?"

I chuckled a bit. "Jealous are we Rukia?" I asked. Meaning what I said as a joke.

Rukia became silent. She turned her head back towards the window and stared out at it.

A small smile came up on her face. "Definitely not."

I let out a laugh and sat down next to her on the leather bench, my eyes scanning the keys as the water from my pants dripped onto the cracked leather.

From the little knowledge of piano that I had, I found the C key and pushed it three times. I looked up at Rukia and she smiled and slowly shook her head. She set her hands on a pair of keys that I didn't know and she started playing along with me.

Together, with slight smiles on our faces, we played Heart and Soul.

* * *

I woke up in the middle of the night because the phone rang. Rukia walked out of her room rubbing her eyes trying to find her way to the ringing phone in the dark.

In the dark I could tell that her hands found the phone. She picked it up with fumbling fingers and pushed the talk button with a beep.

On the other line of the phone a girl answered and asked "Is Ichigo there?"

From what I could see of Rukia, she blinked and said, _"Who the fuck is this?"_

_

* * *

  
_

Blehhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I didn't like the ending. It kinda sucked. Oh wells.

But considering how lazy and grumpy I've been this week, this is all I can do for now.

Anyways, I want Curious George for a monkey.

Reviews would be mucho appreciated.

:D


	3. Foundations

_** III. Foundations**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

I'd like to get more sleep, but my mind just keeps me up.

I can never be a drummer. I'd throw up.

It's weird and unbelievable but true.

Whenever I watch some drum players completely rock out I'm completely stunned at their hand-eye coordination and amazing ability to keep a beat.

When I told Ichigo this he called me a freak.

So I picked up a drumstick and threw it at him.

Our friend Chad plays bass. You'd think that a bass would be extremely easy to play because it only has four strings.

Not for me though.

I can't even look cool while playing bass. My tongue is always sticking out and I'm always looking like some little kid focusing a bit too hard.

For about half a month Chad tried to teach me how to play bass just for the fun of it.

I admit when I was learning how to play I was set on becoming an expert in the next few weeks or so.

Yet again that didn't happen.

I'm not sure why I'm so good at piano though.

It's still a mystery to me. At age eleven I began to learn playing piano. I didn't actually have a desire to play it, but the more and more I played the more I began to love the sound.

I've only played it for twelve years, so I guess you could say that that is exceptionally long.

Together, as in me, Chad and Ichigo, we used to love to play Habanera.

We got it from the Muppets when Beaker, Chef and Animal sang it.

-

"Rukia, why the hell are you watching Sesame Street?" Ichigo asked me rudely, as I sat slumped on the couch in sweats with a tub of cookie dough ice cream resting on my stomach.

Grover is my favorite character. And so is Bert. But he can be really mean.

"Shut up Ichigo, I'm watching Grover the waiter talk to ." I barked at him.

Today he annoyed me. All day he said he'd be out. Same thing happened yesterday.

The day before yesterday at practically midnight, some girl called my apartment and asked for stupid idiotic playboy Ichigo.

Considering I was half asleep, and hate it when people, except Ichigo, wake me up around midnight, I cussed at her.

After I hung up Ichigo laughed and said, "Jeez Rukia, you didn't hafta be that mean." And then I walked into my room and fell back asleep.

I didn't know whom, or cared whom (quit lying to yourself Rukia!) it was on the phone that was asking for Ichigo, all I knew is that the person had kept Ichigo busy for about two days.

And that pissed me off…and kind of made me unhappy.

"Well look, it's my TV time so I suggest you change the channel." He said, as he flopped down on the couch beside me.

I didn't look at him and ate a gob full of ice cream, still watching Sesame Street.

Actually, I was kind of surprised he was actually home this early. At around two am he came back giggling like an idiot and fell down on the couch still laughing and rolling around.

I could've guessed he was drunk, and I was right.

Except the most surprising thing for me was that he didn't come home with some prettier than average girl with large boobs.

He was by himself, and that made me smile.

Beside me, Ichigo nudged my left leg with his toe. "Hey, I'm talkin' to you."

I grunted and ate more ice cream.

I couldn't deny that I was still angry with him though.

In only a few hours I bet he'd be with his other girl 'friends'.

There was a tiny thought of inviting Orihime over to possibly cheer me up, but I pushed it away and didn't want her to see me in this slobbish manner. Or ogle Ichigo while he was still here.

Besides, I didn't feel like changing my clothes at all today.

"No, Ichigo, you're talking to you're imaginary friend Bloo." I responded back to him sarcastically, still not wanting to face him.

There was only thirteen more minutes left of Sesame Street and I didn't want to miss it.

I hate it when people stop watching a show, even though there's only like five to ten minutes left of it, and then the next day they complain saying how they missed it. _Ugh._

"You do know that I used to have an imaginary friend named Giorgio when I was five." He stated to me, acting proud of Giorgio.

I blew air through my nose, "You already told me that Ichigo."

On the TV Grover was bringing Fat Blue a ginormous hamburger and trying to put it on the table. I couldn't help but let a tiny smile out.

I love Grover's little spazzy attacks.

It took Ichigo a while just to respond to me so I turned my head to face him and find that he was staring at me intently with an eyebrow raised.

"The heck you lookin' at Strawberry?" I asked, mirroring his expression.

"Are you on your period or something?" He blurted out, his eyes seeming as if they were wider than before.

I couldn't help but slap my forehead. "Look you idiot, just 'cause I'm in a pissy mood doesn't mean I'm on my period." Annoyed, I turned my head back to face the TV. "Yeesh."

Ichigo snorted, "Well it's not just now that in you're in a pissy mood. You've been like this almost all week."

My eyes were fixed on the large hamburger crushing the table while Grover was freaking out. "Glad to know you noticed." I responded back bit bitterly.

Ichigo used to say I ate so many lemons because I was so bitter.

At the corner of my eye I noticed Ichigo grinning like a complete dork at me.

This time I turned to face him and raised my eyebrow practically up to my hairline. "Are you on drugs or something?"

"Nope." Ichigo responded back. "But I know what your problem is."

If my eyebrow could, it raised even higher. "And what would that be?"

Ichigo cuddled up to me on the couch and I became peevish.

My body wouldn't let me move though, so I had to sit there and try to make the blood rush away from my face by pinching myself.

"You're upset 'cause I'm not spending time with you and I've been gone for almost two days."

Spot on.

"_Sure_. If that's you what believe then I guess you can believe it. 'Sides, two days isn't even that long." I laughed humorlessly.

Ichigo threw his head back and his grin grew wider, letting out a laugh. "You know I'm right Rukia."

I decided to change the channel before I decided to use the remote to hit Ichigo in the face.

Iron Chef America was on and a weird man was decorating a plate with a cut up pigeon holding garlic with its talon. Truth be told it was actually pretty gross. When I saw it I couldn't even tell it was garlic that the pigeon was holding. It looked like a friggin shell-less egg.

"Jeez Rukia, what are we watching? Iron Chef America or clan of the cave bear?" Ichigo asked, beginning to get grossed out by the dead pigeon.

"No Ichigo, it's your dad making breakfast."

Ichigo laughed ruthlessly. "You're funny Rukia." He lied.

I changed the channel again and we didn't talk.

One minute.

Two minutes.

Three minutes.

Crap. Did he become a mute or something?

I was too nervous to look toward Ichigo but most of the time Ichigo barely lasts five minutes without talking or complaining.

"Why aren't you at work Rukia?" He asked, watching the TV now.

I huffed. "Didn't know you wanted me out of the apartment so badly." I stated. "Is someone coming over?" I changed the channel again and turned to him. "Does that mean I have to wash the sofa cushions again?"

Ichigo scooted up on the couch more. "What? No, why?"

I blinked. "No to someone coming over or no to cleaning my cushions?"

A look of bewilderment crossed Ichigo's face. "What the hell are you talking about Rukia?"

"What? Nothing. What are _you_ talking about?"

This conversation was going nowhere.

* * *

I was home alone in the dark.

The TV wasn't on and the apartment was completely silent.

It was actually kind of creepy yet relaxing.

I sat on the kitchen floor with a notebook opened and a pencil in my hand. My grey comfy sweat pants protected my legs from the freezing cold tile, but my feet were left to become numb.

This is kind of random, but I'm actually an aspiring writer.

It's been my dream since I was in sixth grade. I've told Ichigo countless times but he always says I should stick to becoming the head poncho of the Starbucks Corporation.

Just recently I got hired to be a dog walker. Now I walk a Chihuahua and a Poodle named Sally and Hina.

Writing to me is as surreal and calming as playing piano is.

So far I'm writing a fictional story on love.

The four letter word.

With a sigh I put my pencil in my notebook and shut it. Nothing was coming to mind today. I didn't know what to write at all.

The door started jiggling and trying to open, immediately I froze up and sat there.

Ichigo walked in and I still held in my breath.

"Rukia?" He called out.

I forgot what time it was.

Eight?

Nine?

All I knew was that it was dark.

Ichigo shut the door and went to look for the light switch.

"Don't turn the light on." I squeaked out, not moving from my spot on the floor.

The light went on anyway.

"What are you doing there Rukia?" He inquired.

"Sitting." I grumbled, wishing the light was back off. "Now turn the damn light off."

He stared at me and then finally flipped the light switch off.

Ichigo kicked off his shoes and walked to the fridge, opening it and letting the light from it illuminate the tiny part of the kitchen floor where I was sitting.

He took out a Yoplait strawberry yogurt and some Jell-O chocolate pudding.

The fridge door was closed and it was dark again.

I heard Ichigo rummage through the utensil drawer and fish out two metallic spoons.

Silently, he sat in front of me, handing me the Yoplait strawberry yogurt and a spoon.

He took the lid off of his pudding and set it on the floor.

Even in the dark I could tell his eyes were on me.

"So did you have fun doing whatever you were doing?" I put a spoonful of yogurt in my mouth, savoring the flavor.

"Not really." He replied back to me.

I moved aside my notebook that was in the space between us. "Why's that?"

Ichigo sniffed. "You weren't there." He said calmly, biting his spoon as he put the pudding in his mouth.

Thank god it was dark. My face was about as pink as Piglets shirt from Winnie the Pooh.

So considering the stupid thing he said to me, I kicked him in the face, earning an "Oww!" from him.

Stupid Ichigo.

* * *

Ha, I'm like…err?

Don't know what the word is, but you can say that I'm not too happy about this chapter.

I mean I don't think it's _terrible_, but yeah, I need some truffles. _Badly._

Now I wasn't too reluctant on writing this chapter, but maybe I'm just not in the mood, I liked it but it had no basic point. Oh well, at least I updated.

…I talk too much. (about lobsters!)

Reviews for the ultra-ly cool magnetic force of awesomness people who must come from the amazing planet of Giorgio the talking hook and his accompanist Stefan. Along with the awesome yellow power ranger…

Whoopeeeeeeeeeeeee. (hearts fo errbuddy)


	4. Fluorescent Adolescent

_**IV. Fluorescent Adolescent**_

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* * *

  
**_

I _hate_ Cher.

It's her _voice_.

And plus she's ancient and looks like a high on drugs Madonna.

Rukia and I never got into her music. It's one of the only things we seem to agree on.

Besides, if Rukia actually liked Cher I think I'd kick a bunny.

And then she'd probably kill me.

Speaking of bunnies, Rukia used to have one.

It was in eighth grade though.

She blamed me.

Except it wasn't just _her_ bunny. It was our eighth grade classes. She considered it hers though. She took care of it practically 24/7, she was the one who gave it a name when our teacher first got it, she _always_ cuddled it and she'd never let it go.

When the bunny finally died she punched me in the face. And she meant it for actual pain.

Yeah, that's how much she hated me.

If the teachers let her go any further she would've beaten me up to a pulp. I only got a black eye from the fight with her. She had a bleeding lip from me.

That's right, I wasn't afraid to hit a girl. Even though I knew it was wrong. But she didn't care about it either.

We were only thirteen though, and the strength she had for a girl of her size was impressive.

I didn't hate her as much as she hated me.

The more she said she hated me the less I began to dislike her.

At first I thought she was _extremely_ annoying. She still is, but in a different way.

I admit that it was mean of me to pick on her, but it's not like she was _deeply_ affected by me. Or at least that's what I thought.

Besides, even then I thought of her as a person whose feelings didn't get hurt so easily.

She sure seemed like that.

"Ichigo, by the time I get back home you better have mopped the floor. I refuse to see that jelly stain that's been there forever be there."

Rukia turned back to me at the doorway with a frown. "If that isn't done I'm gonna whoop your ass like Jet Li did to what's his face in The Warlords."

I was slouching on the couch flipping through channels, pretending I didn't hear a word she said.

Before she shut the door she said, "Be back by five."

It was a week after Rukia kicked me in the face. I didn't bother to go out of the apartment until the bruise on my chin, from where she kicked me, was gone.

* * *

Today, while Rukia was at work, Renji decided to drop in.

"Hey carrot top, where's Rukia?" He asked, barging in through the door that Rukia forgot to lock.

I flicked him off and responded back. "Work."

Renji sat down on the couch next to me and put his dirty feet on our apartments _new_, clear glass coffee table, barely staining it with his dirty socks.

"Look man, Rukia's gonna kill me if she finds even a smudge of dirt on that, take your feet off." I told him, sounding like the midget who owns the apartment I live in.

Just recently she bought a new expensive coffee table that was as clear as water and as expensive as a fancy Chanel purse.

Renji took his feet off and grumbled about how tidy and uptight Rukia was.

"What the hell are you doing here Renji?" I asked him discourteously.

He sat in the couch more, becoming more comfortable. "No, no, no my friend. What are _you_ doing here?"

I raised my eyebrow. "Watching TV, what do you think?"

Renji huffed, "Well I thought you'd be out getting laid or somethin'."

I snorted. "If _I _was gonna be out then why would _you_ be here?"

The couch moved as Renji adjusted his seating position. He bit his lip and looked as if he were going to blush. "Uh…I-I thought Rukia was gonna be here."

Something in my chest twitched and I grew angry.

"Well she's not, so shoo."

I knew Rukia only thought of Renji as a friend, but the way Renji always looked at her made me want to punch him in the penis.

Renji laughed. "I can't hang out with my bud?"

"And do what? Sit and talk about nothing?"

"Isn't that what we do all the time?"

Damn it, I wasn't in the mood for Renji.

It had only been about an hour and fifteen minutes without Rukia and I already missed her. Kinda.

When was it going to be flippin five?

I turned my head to look at the clock. Crap, it was only three forty five.

"So Ichigo, how come you haven't been out lately?" Renji questioned me. His eyes went down to my still slightly, but barely noticeable, bruised chin.

Immediately I covered my chin and scowled. "Frick you lookin' at freaky eyebrow man?"

Renji let out a howl of a laugh. "She hit you didn't she?"

My scowl grew deeper. "She did not!"

If Renji could, he laughed harder. "Aha, I knew it!"

"Shut up you asshole!" I yelled at him, whacking him in the face with a pillow, trying to suffocate him.

With a grin still on his face he breathed in the apartment air. "So what happened? I mean, how'd she hit you?"

I looked away from him, embarrassed. "She kicked me in the chin when I said something to her."

For a second, Renji looked puzzled and a bit jealous of the fact that I lived with Rukia.

"What the heck did you say to her?" Came his inquisitive response.

I frowned at him. "Nothing, ya nosy body."

Renji rolled his eyes, not pushing on the subject. "Whatever you say carrot top."

Getting off the couch, I stood up and flipped the couch over with both arms.

The clock on the wall above the wall said four o two. Damn. Fifty-eight minutes to go.

A bunch of profanities came out from Renji's mouth as he tried to crawl out from under the heavy couch.

I turned my head over to Renji as he emerged out from underneath the couch. "Hey, you want a hamburger?"

Renji looked up and smirked at me. "What the hell, sure, I'm hungry as hell."

* * *

McDonalds just recently put back up its seasonal McRib.

So I ordered it even though I didn't want it. Rukia thinks McDonalds it disgusting.

She says that all fast food restaurants are the cause of heart and weight problems.

That's why whenever I go out with her we only go to a smoothie place and an actual restaurant.

I don't mind though. She always goes on ranting on about people she doesn't like or how terrible or great her day is.

Renji and I sat in a booth and opened our hamburgers. Renji ordered a Big N Tasty.

"So Ichigo, when are _you_ gonna get a job? I mean yeah women pay you for whatever the hell you do to them and your dad pays you for helping out around the clinic, but when are you gonna get an actual job?" Sloppily, Renji took a bite out of his burger. "Besides, are you gonna let Rukia suffer from paying the bills by herself even though you practically live with her? Jeez you big ass mooch."

I took a bite out of my McRib and said nothing. I swear, the scowl on my face felt like it was deepening and staying permanently on my face for the day. The onions in my McRib made me scowl even more. "You make it sound like I'm a gigolo Renji."

"What are you talking about? You are. See Ichigo, now if _I_ lived with Rukia I'd always help her with the bills and find myself a nice job." Renji looked as though he were imagining himself living with Rukia.

The bastard.

"Well you don't Renji, I do, so shut up and eat…and change the subject."

"Ichigo!" Came the feminine voice of Inoue Orihime, skipping toward me happily.

I turned my head to her and blinked. "Uh, hey Inoue."

"Hi! What are you doing here?" She asked while a smile was set on her lips.

"Just eating lunch with Renji. You?" Dang it, the only time I could talk to Inoue was when I was with Rukia. It made it less awkward.

Orihime smiled at me. "Well I work here now!" She said cheerfully.

I think I almost choked on my McRib. Considering the fact that she couldn't cook at all, possibly even worse than me, I was terrified. Please dear god, let her have cleaning duty.

"Great." I croaked.

She clapped her hands together and smiled more. "I know isn't it? Now I can make all the burgers I want and I won't get fired!"

There goes my McRib.

Renji tried to force a smile as he put the rest of his burger away unnoticeably.

"Orihime quit talking to people and get to work!" Said a large man at the counter, his face turning red from anger.

Inoue stood up right. "Gotta go!" She shouted to us and marched back to her duties with a bright smile.

"She's awfully cheerful." Renji said, watching her as she left with a raised eyebrow.

I've known Inoue since eighth grade and Rukia's known her since seventh. Inoue didn't hate me but she was best friends with Rukia and Tatsuki. Tatsuki was quite a bitch too.

I nodded and looked down to check my wristwatch. It said four forty-nine.

Immediately I sucked in a breath and grinned.

"Look Renji I gotta go somewhere. Later." I got up from my seat and walked toward the door.

"Finally gonna go see a woman?" He questioned me with a smirk, still sitting in the booth.

A laugh escaped my throat. "Sure, what the hell why not." If you consider Rukia one, I mused with a slight smile on my face.

Eagerly, I jumped in my car and it roared to life.

McDonalds was only about fifteen minutes away from the apartment, so either way she'd be there, waiting for me.

* * *

By the time I got back Rukia was home, making herself an omelet. She's one of those people who like to have breakfast for dinner.

"Making breakfast for me?" I asked her as I walked in and shut the door to the apartment.

Rukia turned her head to me and smiled. "Take your shoes off and I'll consider it."

Obediently I did so and walked to her side.

She was wearing her favorite Chappy the Rabbit slippers that made it seem like she had cute fuzzy bunnies for feet.

"Hey sugar midget muffin." I said, grinning down at her.

It took all I had not to laugh at her exasperated expression when she turned her face to me. "I am _not_ a sugar midget muffin, mister!" She yelled, threatening to hit me with the spatula in her hand.

I took the spatula out of her hand and ate the tiny already piece of cooked egg on it, making her growl at me.

Rukia ended up grabbing it back and hitting me in the cheek with it. "What did I tell you about the jelly stain?" This came out more as a jumble of words that tried to sound mean and fierce but ended up sounding flustered and a little shaky.

"Huh?" Was my dumb response.

She hit me again and pointed to the spot on the floor that I was supposed to clean up.

"What did I tell you about that before I left?" Yet again she sounded like an angry mom punishing her child for accidentally dropping a glass cup on the floor turning into a million pieces.

I grinned and said, "I'm not cleaning it up."

And then she beat me up like Jet Li, except she had fuzzy lavender Chappy the Rabbit slippers on and a spatula in hand.

* * *

I can't seem to remember what movie Jet Li was in where he had a dog collar on….yeah it's not coming to mind. Maybe it was some other actor.

Anyways, hopefully this wasn't as bad as I thought it was. Gosh I'm so negative. _Great._ I still like it for some reason. And yesterday I had a McRib. I can't say it was disgusting, but it had _way_ too many onions on it. Bleh.

Okay so, yes, I'm almost positively the next chapter will be much more exciting…ish…or I mean it'll actually have a point instead of it being randomly written, it's also kind of sad though. But hey, maybe people will like it, who knows?

I'm still not sure what to do about Renji, Orihime and everybody else. There'll be more of them sooner of later.

I think.

Reviews for the goldfish named Jerry the Peach Juice Drinker and me!! Oh and for the guy who sings Never Gonna Give You Up…. I think his name is Rick Astley…

Either way I love him. But he might be gay… woohoo.

:DDDD

(Yay!)


	5. Daydreamer

_**V. Daydreamer**_

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* * *

  
**_

I got fired from Starbucks today.

It didn't really bother me though.

I wouldn't miss all of the grumpy and bitchy people in the morning that accused me of messing up their damn order when they actually just forgot it.

I'd only miss Kimi: the nicest girl alive.

Even when people yelled at her she never yelled back like I did. She just calmly redid their order and smiled.

When I was leaving she cried. I felt sorry for her so I hugged her and told her I'd drop in as often as I could and sit around like an indecisive customer. So she laughed, sniffed, smiled, and hugged me again.

As I walked to my bike I could already tell and feel that today wasn't going to be a good day.

Actually, it never started out to be a good day anyway.

I looked up to find rain clouds forming, the sky becoming darker.

I sighed as I mounted my bike and began pedaling.

Within the first ten minutes a hard, cold raindrop landed on my cheek.

And then I felt a raindrop on the top of my head.

Before I came home it started pouring.

Angrily I walked up the small, cramped staircase that led to my apartment and tried to find the keys in my pocket.

I opened the door and wanted to cry.

There was playboy Ichigo, making out with a girl on yet again _my_ couch.

He looked up at me like a deer in the headlights and hopped off of the girl.

I'm such a crybaby. It wasn't that bad, you know, seeing the guy you might like-slash-love make out with some girl with her top off. It was kind of worse.

"R-Rukia? What are you doing here? I thought you were at work." Ichigo asked, pulling down his shirt and smoothing out the wrinkles on his pants.

I tried to force a smile but instead let out a weird strangled painful forced laugh. "Aha, n-nothing. I uh…" My eyes wandered to the girl that I had no idea was, who was trying to cover herself with a pillow.

I knew it.

This day was about as terrible as when my bunny died. Maybe even worse, but now I have to clean my cushions again.

I looked back at Ichigo who looked completely confused and dumbfounded. "I…just forgot something here. I… uh… it's okay, I'll get it later." I said, turning my back and shutting the door.

It took all I had not to cry on the spot and after I shut the door.

Feeling dizzy, I sat on a step that was in the middle of the staircase.

My head fell into my hands and I couldn't help but cry.

"Who was she?" Asked the topless girl on my couch from the other side of the door.

Even on the stairs I could still hear them speak.

That, or I was just listening and everything around me was too quiet.

I got up and walked down the stairs before I could hear Ichigo's response to her about me.

Sadly, Ichigo didn't come after me.

* * *

Ichigo was right.

I am a moody person.

One minute I was completely depressed and now I was angry.

I was more or so angry with myself.

Ichigo didn't need to stop doing whatever he was doing with his love life because of me.

Any normal healthy testosterone filled attractive man wouldn't do that right?

Even if I was right, I couldn't deny that it hurt.

I had only seen Ichigo make out with women a few times, but that was because I accidentally walked in on him, and that was when I didn't like him in the way I like him now.

I got up from the bench I was sitting on started walking to nowhere.

Yes, I was aware that the entire backside of my body was damper than the front side of my body was, and people could probably see the outline of my bra, but oh well. And yes, I was aware that I was completely soaked in rainwater.

Screw umbrellas.

It was still raining even after the hour and a half that I left the apartment and sat on the bench in the park thinking to myself.

I didn't look up every time someone walked passed me. Instead I counted. Twenty-seven.

Ha, someone even thought I was a homeless person and put a five-dollar bill beside me.

I looked down at the clothes I was wearing and snorted. They weren't that homeless-y.

I just didn't bother to dress well today.

All I wore was just a regular v-neck and some faded sweat pants.

Maybe they just felt bad for me because my eyes were red and I kept sniffing.

"Rukia?" Asked someone behind me as I began walking.

I turned around to find Chad with no umbrella either and his hair covering his eyes completely. You'd think he'd be as blind as a bat with all that hair covering his eyes, but nope, he's got the eyesight of an eagle.

"Chad." I said, showing a small weak smile.

"What are you doing out here?" He inquired in his low somewhat monotone voice.

"Walking." I said, putting a hand through my wet, tangled hair. "You?"

"Same. I went out to go get ice cream but I ended up getting rained on." A tiny, barely noticeable smile was set on his thin lips.

"How wonderful." I said. "It took you about two hours to get ice cream?"

"No, I stopped by the pet shop too." He stated. "So why are you out here walking by yourself?" Chad asked me curiously, walking in step with me.

"I'm not out here by myself, I'm with you aren't I? And well…" There was a pause and I decided on whether or not I should tell Chad what happened. What the hell, might as well. "I uh… caught Ichigo making out with a girl on my couch and well, I kinda uhm… felt funny about it so I decided to go out for a walk. Plus I got fired from my job, haha, isn't that just dandy?"

I couldn't help but give a weak laugh at how stupid it sounded to me.

Chad was silent for a moment and then said, "You like Ichigo, am I right?"

My lip was beginning to hurt from biting on it so much, and I was trying hard not to cry again. "Not sure in what way you mean..." It was silent for a few moments.

"But possibly."

* * *

I got home at eight pm.

Thankful that Chad knocked a little sense into me. Somehow.

I went to Orihime's house after my walk with Chad but decided not to tell her what happened at the apartment.

She'd give me more pity that I didn't need.

Orihime gave me dinner.

Since I wasn't in the mood to make her unhappy, I let her cook one of her wacky meals.

Tatsuki was there too.

I've known Orihime and Tatsuki since I was in seventh grade. They were, and still somewhat are, two of my best friends.

Tatsuki had known Ichigo since her childhood and Orihime met Ichigo in eighth grade.

Even though Orihime had a crush on Ichigo, and still does, she still sticks by me.

I was happy that I had friends that didn't really involve gossip about boys and girls, just friends that let me escape from the things that hurt.

* * *

It stopped raining by the time I got home.

For some odd reason, I felt a bit refreshed.

I felt brave enough to walk into my apartment comfortably and not care what Ichigo was doing.

And so that's exactly what I did.

Fumbling with the keys a little, I opened the door and strode in confidently only to find no one home.

That was good though, but then, why was there a tiny pang in my heart?

The apartment was dark and I didn't bother to turn my lights on.

Ichigo calls me an owl because I don't turn the lights on when I get home.

I opened my fridge and grabbed some peanut butter and a spoon and walked to my bedroom, making sure not to trip over a lonesome shoe or slip on the floor with my wet socks.

Tiredly I opened my drawer and changed into some dry clothes.

Like a tiny bunny, I hopped onto my bed, got under the covers, and turned the TV on, putting a spoonful of peanut butter in my mouth.

After a half hour of watching nothing but cartoons, and silently wishing for Ichigo to come home, I slowly drifted to sleep with my half eaten jar of peanut butter in one hand and a spoon in the other.

* * *

I'm not sure what time I woke up but it was probably after midnight.

My TV was off and the spoon and peanut butter that were originally in my hands were gone and replaced with a small fluffy beanie bunny.

I smiled softly and went back to sleep.

* * *

Alalalalalalala.

So if you think that Ichigo and Rukia's relationship is moving a bit too fast then let me know and I'll put it in slow-mo or somethin'. (even though nothin' much happened in this chapter)

I'm not sure if it is, so yeah, tell meeeeee.

Awww, and I'm sorry for the people who wanted lotsa IchiRuki fluff in this chapter. But hey, there was some at the end right? ….right? kinda...ish.

Anyhow, I promise promise promise all of you that there will be more IchiRuki in the next chapter. For some reason I felt compelled to write this… and... yeah.

And review. That would make me feel so happy and wish to give out oatmeal cookies and colorful lamps. Which I do have many of.

Plus, tell me what you thought of the chapter. I know, I know, it was not my best.

I'd still like to hear what everyone thought.

:D


	6. Calling You

_**VI. Calling You**_

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* * *

  
**_

I woke up this morning feeling like jelly.

Literally.

Something smelled like it was burning and I lazily sat up from my uncomfortable position on the couch. Rukia was in front of me with her back to me.

She was sitting with her knees up and her butt on the armrest of the couch. I couldn't exactly tell what the heck she was doing, but she was somewhat hunched over and holding something like a brush in her right hand.

"Ichigo, if you even move this couch just a _little_ bit and mess up my nail polish I'm going to kill you." Rukia growled, still hunched over and not bothering to turn to face me.

Wait a minute, _Rukia_, painting her _toenails_? That never happened.

I moved on the couch anyway causing her to teeter a bit. "What's burning?"

"You if you don't quit moving. Now stop." Came her angry reply.

Even though I felt like cooked spaghetti I tried to lift my body and then fall back down, causing the couch to shift a little. It kind of worked. Sort of.

Rukia ended up standing on the armrest, wobbly, holding her foot and nail polish in one hand.

I'm sure if she could she would've kicked me if it weren't for the fact that both her feet were in use.

"Damn it Ichigo, what the hell did I say?" Rukia was wearing a nice fitting skirt that had frills along the bottom of it and stopped just above her knee, and a light purple blouse.

She looked as if she was gonna go on a date, but that rarely ever happened unless she was with me. Most of the time whenever someone asked Rukia out she'd say no because she always guessed what kind of personality they had.

Her hair was sloppily pulled back in a ponytail but only so her hair wouldn't get in her face at the moment.

"Again Rukia, what the hell is burning?" I repeated.

Rukia jumped off the armrest and landed with one foot onto the floor, walking to the stove and turning it off. "Nothing."

I growled at her under my breath.

She hopped on one foot over to the couch and ordered me to get off.

"No." I said.

"Get off or else you'll find nail polish on your eyes."

"No."

-

I ended up with purple nail polish on my eyelids.

To try and make Rukia happier, I painted her toenails for her.

"So where are you going shorty?" I asked, trying to sound casual and not too pushy.

She looked up at me and glared. "None of your business Strawberry."

"Hey look, I'm the one painting your toenails aren't I?" I said, as I did another toe carefully. "I should at least know why I'm doing this."

Rukia seemed as though she were contemplating on what to say, and then flat out said, "No."

I blew hot air through my nose. "That seems to be used a lot today."

She gave a small sigh and barely audibly whispered, "I know."

It was more like she mouthed it.

"What was that? I can't read lips you know." I said, raising my eyebrow at her.

"Nothing ya dork."

I scowled. "I am not a vulgar slang word for penis."

Rukia couldn't help but give a muffled laugh.

* * *

"Okay Ichigo, I'll be back by eight thirty." Rukia peeped her head out of the tiny opening of the door. "Later Strawberry."

I gave a small smile as Rukia shut the door. "Bye Midget."

* * *

It's only been about two hours without Rukia.

That's fine.

Two hours isn't that long.

…. I guess.

Just a week ago Rukia caught me with a very pretty girl named Mai. I wasn't sure if Rukia was angry with me for it though.

I… it's just…something about Rukia seemed kind of sad after that incident.

And the only reason I was making out with some chick on Rukia's couch was because um… let's just say a man has his needs.

Or no, a man _needs_ his needs. And I needed them.

And I couldn't take them out on Rukia, she'd just beat me up and get angry with me.

So don't blame me, blame my manly needs.

Luckily though, after the incident, things didn't get awkward between us. In a way she was still the same, but like I said, she seemed sadder.

Clearly, being who I am, I couldn't figure out the reason.

My possible reasons were:

1. She didn't want to come home and clean the cushions.

2. She was on her period.

3. She had a bad day.

4. She was jealous of Mai's boobs.

5. She was angry with me for making out on her couch with Mai.

I stretched out on the couch and yawned. There was nothing to do without Rukia around. Urgh, why couldn't _I_ take her out to eat somewhere?

Loudly, I groaned and got up off the couch to go out and find Rukia.

Going outside I almost froze my ass off so I went back in and grabbed my coat.

I guessed that she'd be in the city. I remember her mentioning something about this Italian restaurant, but I didn't really pay attention because she was talking about some guy that I didn't want to hear about.

Street lamps and lights inside restaurants brightened up the dark streets and sidewalk that I was walking on. Most of them were decorated with holiday things, like red ribbons and wreaths.

-

Acting like a weird stalker, I looked through every window of every store or restaurant to try and find Rukia.

It wasn't until practically the thirtieth shop window I looked through that I found her sitting with some guy in the Italian restaurant Buca di Beppo.

Something weird and funny feeling hit my chest and I swallowed when I saw them sitting together, talking to each other.

Hesitantly, I opened the door to the restaurant and walked in, the bell at the top of the door ringing.

When I walked into the restaurant no one but the people near the door noticed me. Rukia seemed to be engrossed in her conversation with whomever the hell she was talking to.

And in a way that kind of pissed me off.

"Can I help you?" Asked a young girl that walked up to me out of nowhere.

I looked down and blinked at her.

"Table for one?" She asked.

I turned to look at Rukia who finally spotted me after about thirty seconds; her eyes bugged out and panicked. Embarrassed, she took her menu and covered her face with it, thinking that I didn't see her.

I laughed out loud, causing the girl in front of me to blush and raise her eyebrows.

"C'mon Rukia, you know I saw you, put the stupid menu down." I said, casually walking to her table and away from the girl.

The man who sat across from her asked her something and turned to look at me, gesturing me to come closer.

"What are you doing?" Rukia asked him confused, face red and angry, not turning to me.

She was prettier than what I remember from two hours ago.

"May I ask who you are?" Requested the guy, staring at me.

I blinked at him. "I'm Rukia's bitch." I said bluntly, earning a hard hit from the menu Rukia was holding and a bewildered look from the man who sat across from her.

"N-no he's not!" Rukia stuttered out, her cheeks a dark pink. "H-he just lives with me!"

Something hit my gut and I frowned at her. She was telling the truth though, but it just didn't sound right to me.

I turned to face the guy, putting my elbow on Rukia's head and messing up her hair.

Rukia didn't make a motion to move my arm; she just sat there and blushed, scowling with her hands cupping the sides of her face.

"So who the hell are you?" Came my rude question to the guy in front of her. Rukia growled at me.

"Seiji Nomura." He said, clearing his throat and fixing his tie.

Seiji looked clean and well kept, wearing a somewhat casual suit and a regular tie. He looked extremely professional and fake.

Already I didn't like him…and his hair sucked.

"This is the kinda guy you decided to pick Rukia? I mean yeah, I knew you were gonna go for some fancy guy, but _him_?" Rukia elbowed me in the stomach, making me bend over and clutch it, groaning.

"Excuse me for a minute, will you Seiji?" Rukia asked him, sitting up and trying to smile and be polite, instead of whoop my ass in front of him and the other people in the restaurant.

I mockingly waved at him and followed Rukia who was walking away quickly.

Once we were near the bathrooms and out of view of from Seiji she hit me in the nose. Or no, more like punched me in the nose.

"What the hell Rukia? That hurt, and my bruise from the last time you hit me just recently finished healing and now you gave me another one!" Instead of hitting me again for yelling at her, she rubbed her temples and shut her eyes.

"Are you trying to ruin this date for me?" She asked angrily.

"So this is a date?" I asked her curiously.

Why the heck would she be on a date with _that_ guy?

Rukia opened her eyes, looked up at me and blinked. "What, no? I said it was a date? Well then no, it's not."

I raised my eyebrow at her. "Are you okay?"

She sighed deeply and leaned into me. "No, I'm not. You're giving me a headache Ichigo."

I smiled and shook my head, leaning down to kiss the side of her eye softly. I've kissed her before, but never on the mouth, that's too personal. She'd kill me if I did that. It's always been on the side of her face, or her eyebrow and neck. "You so sure it's me? Maybe it's the guy you're having dinner with? I mean he doesn't even seem that friendly."

Rukia laughed, making my lips that were on the side of her face to move to the side of her forehead. "He was until you came along idiot."

She wasn't angry with me, so that was a good thing. Except, for some reason I felt the need to apologize to her about the Mai and I making out on her couch thing.

I did apologize the day after it happened, but this time, it felt like I was apologizing for a different reason.

"Rukia?" I asked, moving my lips back down to the side of her eye and just staying there, taking in the smell of her ebony hair.

"Hmm?" She inquired, smiling and not moving an inch.

For a moment it was silent, and then I finally, and sincerely, said "Sorry."

Rukia turned to look up at me, removing her head from my lips. "For what?"

I looked up at the ceiling and pretended to be thinking. "Stuff."

* * *

We ended up leaving the guy at the restaurant.

Rukia apologized over and over and promised that she'd reschedule their "date".

"You didn't drive here?" She asked me as we started walking,hugging her body and shivering. The idiot only decided to wear a light sweater that was designed for spring, not winter.

"No, is that a problem?" I said roughly, sounding tough.

She raised a slim eyebrow at me and frowned. "Actually that is a problem. A lady as myself is turning into a popsicle and can't stand walking in these heels that make me seem taller than I actually am. So it would've been a good idea to bring your car if you were planning on coming and getting me."

I scowled down at her. "Look Miss Bossy, what if I wasn't planning on coming and getting you?"

Rukia gave a displeased look. "Then why did you come inside the restaurant and get me?"

"I said _if_, Rukia, and I did because I wanted to."

"Well did you want me to freeze as well?"

"No, I wasn't expecting you to actually wear something that skimpy in winter."

"_Skimpy?_" Rukia said the word as if it were an STD. "The outfit I am wearing, Ichigo Kurosaki, is not _skimpy._"

I snorted and looked on ahead. "Then why else are you cold?"

"Why? Because I didn't expect it to be this cold!" Came her immediate, frustrated response.

"Hello Rukia! There's a reason it's called winter! You don't see people walking around in short shorts and skirts now do you?"

Rukia gave a bitter laugh. "Ha, you're girlfriends seem to say otherwise Ichigo!"

"Hey look, they're not my girlfriends and they aren't any of your business!"

Rukia sucked in an angry breath. "None of my business? Excuse me but they seem to be in my apartment quite a lot! And anything that is in _my_ apartment is clearly _my_ business!"

I made an irritated noise and refused to look at her. I wasn't angry with her though; I was actually kind of amused.

It was silent for a moment between us and Rukia sniffed.

"I'm cold Ichigo." She said, sounding like a little kid. "And my feet hurt." She stopped walking and crossed her arms.

I turned back to look at her and she was wiping her nose, her cheeks pink from the chill in the air.

Hot air blew out my mouth, looking like smoke, and I told her to take her shoes off.

Reluctantly, and without question, she did so and I took my coat off, handing it to her and feeling the cold air nip at me.

"C'mon midget, get on." I said, as I lowered myself so she could get on my back.

She got on my back and I could feel the warmth radiating off of her body, sending goose bumps to invade my bare arms.

"Take my shoes." She ordered.

I sighed deeply and took them.

"You try walking and staying in them for more than two hours." Rukia replied tempestuously to my deep sigh, adjusting herself on my back.

I grunted and started walking to our apartment.

"Wait, wait!" She shouted in my ear, causing me to halt and have my ear ringing. "I want Auntie Anne's!"

"What about Starbucks?"

"I got fired from there, now come on, I want some pretzels."

"You got fired? How are we gonna pay the bills? When did this even happen? And _why _did this happen?"

Rukia slapped my head and told me to keep walking. I did so and she started explaining. "Apparently I was too much of an angry person to work there, and look, that was a part time job dummy. Remember? I still get to walk Sally and Hina, and all the other dogs. And I also just got a part time job as a daycare kindergarten helper. Geez Ichigo, you don't remember me telling you this at all?"

"You're gonna work as a daycare kindergarten helper? Why would you want to work with little kids?" When in holy hell did this happen?

"Because they're extremely adorable and loveable." She said, as she moved her arms from my shoulders to the area near my throat.

My breath hitched and my heart felt like it sped up too much for me to handle.

"Ichigo where are you going? You just walked right past Auntie Anne's." Came Rukia's angry and confused voice behind me.

"Oh." I said, blinking and walking backwards.

"Drop me." She said, waiting for me to let go of her.

Unwillingly, I dropped her down and she walked into the store with no shoes on, and ordered a cinnamon sugar pretzel for herself and an original for me.

I stared at her as she ate parts of her pretzel while walking. She was drowning in my coat, except, part of me thought she was too cute in it and that she should take it off before a guy comes up and talks to her, and part of me was happy to see her in something of mine in public.

She has worn stuff of mine before, but only in the apartment.

"Aren't you gonna eat yours?" Rukia asked me, finishing half of her pretzel and starting to walk slower.

"I'll save it for later." I said, beginning to walk ahead of her.

She shrugged and walked in step with me, still barefoot.

"Do you want warts or something Rukia?

She blinked. "What? Of course not, why would you ask that?" Rukia seemed to be confused as hell, not even looking at her feet.

"You kind of have no shoes or socks on Rukia, and who knows what's been on this concrete, plus you might get hypothermia and lose a toe." For once I actually sounded smart and it made me grin inside.

Rukia raised an eyebrow at me. "Jeez, what got into you Ichigo? Isn't that something I'd normally say?"

"Well you would say it if I did something like what you're doing, but since I don't think I'm that stupid, I wouldn't." I said, sounding knowingly.

Rukia snorted impolitely. "I am not stupid Ichigo!"

I laughed at her and put my arm around her shoulder. "Whatever you say Rukia."

* * *

A few weeks ago Rukia went with me to buy Dyno-mite Hooker his new strings, so now he's fixed and all better.

When we got home from our freezing walk outside we decided to play our instruments together. This went on for about half an hour; Rukia kept stopping and laughing, messing up while I just groaned when she stopped.

I finally ate my pretzel afterwards. I gave a fourth of it to Rukia because she kept eyeing it.

"Hey Rukia?" I called to her, finishing my pretzel and sitting on the floor of the kitchen.

She came out of her room wearing a large t-shirt that I bought last year and I wore almost every week, along with long gray sweatpants.

"Yeah?" She said, walking out and putting her hair in a loose ponytail.

For a second I lost what I was going to say and just stared at her. "Uhh…" I looked away from her and looked at the stove, remembering the subject that left my mind. "What was burning this morning?"

Rukia raised her right eyebrow. "Well that was definitely out of nowhere. Why do you ask?"

I shrugged and butt scooted to the fridge, grabbing the plastic container of Coca Cola and drinking it.

Rukia sat down on the cold tile floor, leaning her back on the front of the stove.

I turned around to face her and kept drinking, allowing her to give her reason.

"If you _must _know Ichigo, I was going to make you breakfast, but I was too distracted and ended up having it burnt."

"Oh." I said, standing up and leaving the plastic bottle on the floor. "Why were too distracted?"

Rukia looked up at me and raised an eyebrow. "Why do you want to know so badly?"

I folded my arms across my chest and towered over her. "No reason."

"Then I guess I tried to make breakfast for you for no reason." She retorted, grabbing the bottle in front her of and unscrewing the cap.

"Thanks for trying my little peach cobbler."

Rukia blushed and took a swig. "Going to bed so early?"

I nodded and leaned down, giving her a quick kiss on her nose. "That's for the punch to my nose at the restaurant."

* * *

OMG! Flying chimpanzees in tutus! I actually put some hardcore gotta get me more fluff in this. Kinda.

Hecky doo's yes man.

So umm, anyway, I was actually planning on posting this on Saturday, but we lost our internet and cable…sadly. But woohoo, we have it back now. Sorry if it wasn't too fantastic. IchiRuki is still the best mannnn. :)

And someone told me I should make the chapters longer, so wah-lah. Longer?

Oh yeah, ohmymonkeyonasticklord! Bleach Fade To Black; Calling Out Your Name came out yesterday! I'm so nerdy that I think I've seen just about every commercial, clip, and everything! for it. Oh how I wish I were in Japan at this moment.

I'll find a way.

Okay, so hopefully some people enjoyed this chapter, and didn't think that I jacked this up a lot. Haha, updates would make me feel like I was on Fantasy Island.

Tell me what you guys thought!


	7. Be OK

_**VII. Be OK**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

This isn't fair.

What is the matter with some men? Hasn't anyone with a penis ever heard of privacy?

I sunk deeper into my bubble bath until the water and bubbles were up to my bottom lip, leaving my mouth with some taste of soap.

"Kurosaki Ichigo I advise you to get out of this bathroom _now_ before you're missing your eyes, your ears, and your nine fingers and your ten toes." I warned him, my face red from embarrassment.

Today Ichigo didn't look so well. Or no, since the day he came and interrupted my date with Seiji he said he hadn't been feeling well. I didn't believe him at first because I thought he was just whining. That idiot.

"What? I thought I had ten fingers? And shut up, I need some Pepto. My stomach is feeling funny." He said, opening the mirror cabinet above the bathroom sink.

I sighed.

Lately Ichigo has constantly walked in on me while I'm changing, taking a bath or anything that has to do with privacy.

At first I got angry about it and it kind of made me self-conscious, but now a week and a half after he started it, I'm strangely comfortable with it.

This is strange to me because I don't wholly understand why Ichigo is doing this at all. Maybe he just thinks it's all right to walk in on your best friend while she's changing or doing something that's supposed to be private.

I don't know.

"Ichigo your thumbs don't count as fingers." I stated to him, watching him rummage around the cabinet, knocking down other bottles in the process.

He kept looking through the cabinet, seeming to get irritated by not finding it yet. "Why not? It's just a stubbier version of all the other fingers, and where the hell is the Pepto or else you're gonna find the toilet filled with vomit."

My nose scrunched up in disgust. "Yuck Ichigo, don't do that here, I'm taking a bath. Mind you, I'm a lady who's naked, so _get out_." I flicked some water and bubbles at him but he didn't seem to notice. "By the way blind boy, the bottle's on the fifth shelf next to the tweezers."

Ichigo found it and frowned at me. "I knew that. And hush shorty, it's not like I haven't seen you naked before, 'sides, it's not like there's much to see anyway." He opened the lid to the bottle and started drinking the pink medicine as if it were water to a dehydrated person.

Yes. It's true. Ichigo has seen me naked before, but like so many things that's happened to us; it was on accident.

"You little—as a matter of fact I do have quite a body. You're just blinded by huge boobs and big butts on other women to even notice my wonderful slender curves." I stated knowingly about myself.

Pink liquid came spitting out of Ichigo's mouth and he started laughing out loud like what I said was the funniest thing he ever heard.

"Get out!" I screamed at him, my face turning redder by the moment. "You stupid arrogant, son of a—"

"Now now Rukia," Ichigo said, interrupting my ranting. " Don't talk about Renji that way." There was a small hint of a playful smile on his face.

Instead of getting out like I told him to, he decided to sit on the toilet seat, pushing off my clothes that were lying on it.

He took another swig of the Pepto and grinned at me.

"If you drink too much of that you'll be even more sick you know." I informed him, hoping he would stop drinking that stuff. In all honesty Pepto Bismol is most definitely something I would not enjoy drinking, and watching him drink it like it was something good made my stomach queasy. "This isn't funny. You drinking that nasty pink stuff and sitting on the toilet watching me is just freaky. If I had the phone with me at the moment I'd have you arrested for sexual harassment and…other stuff."

Ichigo snorted and rolled his eyes. "For what? Sitting and having a nice conversation with you while your taking a bath? I don't think I'm molesting you now am I?"

The corners of my lips went down slightly. "With your eyes you are."

"With my eyes?" He asked incredulously. "Is that even possible?"

My cheeks turned red again. "Of course it is."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "You're nuts, you know that?"

I smiled. "Nah, if I was how could I possibly keep you in check? I think if I were I'd be running around making babies with a person I don't even know."

A laugh erupted from Ichigo. "Is that what you think crazy people do Rukia?"

"No—Change of subject; so since you're sick and all, I'll be going grocery shopping today then."

Ichigo stared down at me from his spot on the toilet seat. "Nope, sorry midget, we're going to my dads today. I think we owe him a visit."

I looked up at him. "What? But that's not cool, I wanted to go grocery shopping with the old ladies there."

Ichigo snorted. "No, you're coming with me to have some family time with us."

"No." I said, staring at him determinedly.

"Yes." He retorted back.

After about three minutes of arguing with him I sighed heavily and finally gave in. "Now get out, I have to get dressed."

He didn't budge and just smirked at me.

"Look you perv, I know you're just wanting to see my rockin' bod, but lord help me if you don't get out in the next five seconds I'll hunt you down and make you wish you don't have a penis. Now, out!"

Ichigo's smirk grew wider and he lazily got up with his Pepto bottle in hand and walked out the bathroom, leaving the door wide open.

"You ass!" I screamed at him.

* * *

I still write every so often. I'd say once every two weeks.

My love story is getting me confused so I've decided to stop writing it.

So far I think it doesn't make sense at all.

I guess like everything else.

-

While in high school I used to go to Ichigo's family clinic/ house so much that it was practically twenty-four seven.

To be honest I hated mentioning my house to anyone. Or no…that's much less of what I lived in.

It was a mansion. My family was, and still is, incredibly rich.

I hated having people over and seeing their shocked expressions at how large my family's mansion was. It was embarrassing. And I was not the type at all to brag about how rich I was.

So therefore, I spent a lot of time at the Kurosaki household. They didn't mind though. At least I think they didn't.

Why am I not living it up in some fancy rich and expensive condominium right now? Because I didn't want to.

I wanted to live comfortably, without any maids or servants; just with my best friend.

Byakuya still doesn't like Ichigo at all.

While in middle school, during the time I hated Ichigo, I used to tell Byakuya how angry and annoyed I was with Ichigo. So after Ichigo became my new friend Byakuya didn't understand why I wanted to be with him so much.

Back then I didn't know why either. I still kind of don't know why now.

"You didn't forget the keys did you?" I asked Ichigo as we walked out of my car, towards his family's clinic.

Ichigo drove today.

I actually hate how Ichigo drives. It drives me nuts and scares the crap out of me. Honestly, I swear he thinks he's speed racer or something. We could be on a highway and the speed limit could be forty-five and Ichigo would be going around sixty or higher.

Ichigo dug through his pockets and pulled out a pair of silver keys. "Not this time."

I sighed. "That's good."

"Rukia!" Cried Yuzu as she came running out the front door to hug me.

I hugged her back with a bright smile.

"I've missed you so much." She said, her head in my shoulder and her words coming out a bit muffled.

I looked down at and hugged her tighter. "I've missed you too. And jeez have you gotten old Yuzu. I think your boobs might be bigger than mine." I said jokingly.

Yuzu blushed and Ichigo said, "Everyone's boobs are bigger than yours, even my dads I bet."

Before I could even hit Ichigo in the face Isshin came springing at me, giving me a bear hug.

"Rukia!" He cried out happily with tears in his eyes. "I thought my stupid ignorant son lost you and that we'd never see you again!"

I laughed, trying to breathe. "H-hello!"

Ichigo made his dad let go of me and let me breathe, except there was a tiny scowl on his face.

Karin was standing at the door with an amused smile on her face. "Hey Rukia."

I smiled at her and Yuzu grabbed my hand, pulling me inside their house.

"Are you hungry?" She asked, her smile bright and happy. "I can make you something if you'd like!"

"Sure, I didn't get a chance to have lunch before we came here so that sounds great." I looked around the room and found that the house still looked the same as it had the last time I visited.

Karin stood beside me and watched her sister walk around the kitchen looking for utensils. "Yuzu's missed cooking for you and Ichigo you know."

I grabbed her shoulder and squeezed. "Well I've missed her cooking and all of you."

She looked up at me and gave a tiny smile. "Yeah."

"So Rukia! What brings this dear visit from you and Ichigo?" Isshin asked, popping out of nowhere.

I took a step back from surprise and walked into Ichigo's chest. "Ah, sorry Ichigo." I said, turning around to face him.

He put his hand on my head and faced his dad with a scowl on his face.

My face heated up a little and I tried to answer Isshin's question, facing him. "Well I'm not really sure Isshi—"

"_Papa_!" He corrected me. "Remember? I want you to call me _Papa_!"

I blinked and gave a tiny smile. "Fine Papa. But I don't why Ichigo and I are here though."

"Look dad, why should Rukia call you her dad? We're not even related to her." Ichigo said, fiddling with a strand of hair on my head.

Isshin looked up at him. "Yes, but Ichigo she will soon be once you marry her!"

Immediately my face turned the color of a tomato and I was thankful Ichigo didn't see my face at all.

Ichigo seemed unfazed by it, or he didn't seem to care what his father said.

Isshin has said things like this before, but thinking about what he says now I get so embarrassed and I'm amazed how Ichigo and I acted fine about it back then. Ichigo still seems to act the same way about it though.

"Issh—Papa, that's impossible." I joked. "Ichigo is always going around making out with girls from bars and clubs on my couch."

Isshin gasped and looked mortified at my words. "My son, how dare you!"

I laughed and walked out of Ichigo's hand on my head that seemed to stiffen. "Do you need some help Yuzu?"

She nodded and gave a welcoming smile.

"Don't burn anything now Rukia." Said Karin, standing beside me again.

* * *

"Bye you guys." I said, exiting the house and waving goodbye to them after we all hugged.

"Bye Rukia, by Ichigo!" Shouted Yuzu and Isshin in unison. Karin just waved.

Isshin ran to Ichigo's side and whispered something in his ear that made him blush and beat up his father.

"But Papa loves you!" Isshin wailed as Ichigo kept kicking him.

After a while the Kurosaki family, minus Ichigo, went back inside their home and shut the door.

I was surprised when Ichigo didn't walk towards the car and ended up walking on the sidewalk, away from it.

"Hey, where are you going?"

He turned around and faced me, grabbing my wrist and at the same time pulling me closer to him, making me blush.

"Why're you such a loud mouth Rukia?" He asked, a bit rudely, pulling me closer until I was face to chest with him.

I looked up at him and snickered, the redness in my cheeks fading. "What, did I say something wrong to your father about you?"

Ichigo looked down at me and scowled. "Yes you did. You made me sound like a whore." His eyebrows were knitted together in a funny manner.

The word whore made me giggle and stepped back a bit so I wasn't that close to him.

"Why I only told the truth you know." I said condescendingly, smiling as he seemed to get more irritated.

His scowl deepened and he grabbed my cheeks, stretching them out and making them red.

"I don't do stuff like that on your couch all the time."

I snorted. "_Okay_."

He let go of my cheeks and started for the car, leaving me to rub my soar face.

"You're like a pregnant woman sometimes Ichigo. Honestly, this morning you were drinking Pepto and acting creepy and now you're all angry. Did some diseased animal crawl up your as—"

He turned around to face me and put a finger to my lips and shut his eyes, interrupting me for the billionth time in this one day. "Shut up."

I frowned at him. "That isn't a very nice way to tell someone to b—"

He sneezed. In my face.

He sneezed in my face.

Ichigo _sneezed_ in my _face_.

For a second I just stood there and blinked, while all he did was sniff.

"I think I have a cold Rukia." He said innocently.

That's it.

I punched him in the nose and he shouted out: "Dammit not again Rukia!"

* * *

A/N:I think I'm brain dead.

Haha, no seriously though. I probably am. Umm…was this worth waiting for? I have no idea. All I did was feel bad for making people wait and wrote a chapter that made me think , what hell, just update bish.

But did you guys like it?

Off topic, but I feel like mentioning stuff about reviews: I'm actually kind of annoyed and upset about this, because I found out that I have quite a few many readers, but not all of them review, and I have quite a few people that have added this story to their alerts and favorites, but uh not all of them tell me what they think or review. I mean it wouldn't hurt to be like, hey this wasn't that bad yo. Or just gimme a smiley face that makes me giggle. You know? It'd just be a little encouraging and make me wanna update this more.

Oh and about the OOC-ness. Err let's just say I don't really care. Since this is my story I'm writing Ichigo as how I kinda want him to be if he was uber super duper best friends with Rukia. So yah.

Anyway, I've got finals coming up, so I doubt I'll update anytime soon. I dunno. And the reason this chapter was like shiett was coz I've been very distracted by too many things and everyone is convinced I'm gonna fail my finals. Boooo. Not cool man. I need a brain fo rizzle.

Uhhhh...hopefully some people liked it. Sorry fellas if it wasn't too…uhh I don't think I have word.

Laziness is like seeping into my mind.

Bye bye! Review if you'd like. It'd make me feel better and wish for a better fridge.

:DD

Happy Belated New Year!


	8. Say Anything Else

_**IIV. Say Anything (Else)**_

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* * *

  
**_

Beets are _disgusting_.

To me it's like a persons way of saying, "Hey look, I found this in my bathtub and I thought it was my grandma's liver but it turns out it's a beet. Want it? Coz I sure don't."

This one girl I dated ate beets like a crazy person. She called it her drug.

Her _nasty_, _stinky_, _smelly_, _ugly_, _yucky_, drug.

Every time she talked about beets she freaked out about 'em.

Rukia said it was extremely childish of me to develop a hate over a food that has no feelings and that I should get over it and eat one. Face your fears, right?

Not likely for me. They can _suck_ it.

Because I gave her that exact response, she _poisoned_ my taco salad that day by putting _nasty_, _stinky_, _smelly_, _ugly_, _yucky _beets in it, disguising them as tomatoes.

Of course being me I attacked her and stuffed her in the fridge. She didn't fit so I called her fat.

She threw all of the contents in our fridge at me. Even the _nasty, stinky, smelly, ugly, yucky_ beets.

We ended up having to go out grocery shopping that same day, and an old granny slapped my butt.

_Traumatizing._

_

* * *

  
_

"Hey Rukia?" I called to her, sitting on the couch and flipping through channels on the T.V. Yo Gabba Gabba is the next big thing.

"Hmm?" She replied, making her bed and getting ready to take care of thousands of five or four year olds.

"You wanna take a day off for me?" I asked, grinning at her over my shoulder.

Today I wanted her to go to the zoo with me. We haven't gone since it was Karin and Yuzu's seventeenth birthday, and at that time we were all wearing funny looking animal hats.

Rukia walked out of her bedroom and put her hands on her hips. "Now why would I do that? I took one like two weeks ago didn't I?"

She wasn't wearing any pants, but she was wearing an oversized shirt that could qualify as a dress on her, except it was a little too high, and every time she raised her arms it would go just a bit above her thighs, showing her pink and yellow Chappy underwear.

It was embarrassing for me to say the least because, hello, there's something down there (on my hot manly body) that's like "Woah man!", and lately… I just can't take my eyes off of Rukia. I know! It's not right coz she's my best friend that I've known for too long and it isn't my fault!

"Because you miss me and leave me all by myself for little kids that are around the same size as you. 'Sides, last time I was sick, and now I'm not." I stated, eating a lime flavored tortilla chip.

Rukia rolled her eyes. "You don't seem to be that lonely without me Ichigo."

I ate another chip and pouted at her. "Of course I am midget, there's no one around that's as short as you are."

That earned a hit from a mushroom lamp at me. And it hurt.

"Gee, it's nice to know I make you feel like Bao Xishun ." She turned around and went to change.

"So then if you're not gonna take a day off I'll pick you up at one thirty?" Whenever I assumed of doing things with Rukia, there wasn't a possible way she could say no. At least I think there wasn't.

She didn't respond.

"One thirty it is sugar pie."

* * *

I came to the daycare kindergarten center at one twenty, making sure I wasn't late and not wanting the stupid little kids to come and attack me, making me wait longer for Rukia.

"Mr. Strawberry!" Cried one little girl, Namori, running to me and hugging my leg as I walked up to the glass door of the kindergarten center. Another little boy came running out after her, and then shortly afterwards a horde of short little people came running out to greet me.

So far, for the past month of Rukia working at the kindergarten place, I've visited about nineteen times. I'm not really sure why the kids here even took a liking to me, but either way they're brats. I have to admit though; sometimes I can't help but enjoy their hugs.

"Hey Namori, where's your midget teacher?" I asked the tiny girl attached to my leg, bending down and practically breaking my back, to look at her.

The little boy that came running after her, Taka, jumped on my arm and hugged it too, shouting Mr. Strawberry in my ear.

"Do you think I'm deaf Ichigo? Or what, do you think I leave my children unsupervised so pedophiles can come and take them?" Asked Rukia, appearing in front of me holding Hayate, the clinger's, hand.

If Rukia were a mom, or worse, the mom of Hayate, Hayate would be a mama's boy. He follows her everywhere like a lost puppy, and he clings to her with his life. Heck, I remember even seeing his mom come one day and try to pry him off Rukia while he was screaming and crying.

I let out a laugh and picked up the two kids hugging me. "Are you calling me a pedophile Rukia?"

"Didn't know you were planning on taking them Ichigo." A small happy smile was set on Rukia's lips, but was somewhat hidden from trying to be smug.

Another little twirp climbed up on my back and wrapped their arms around my neck, choking me.

"Ichigo how come you weren't here yesterday?" Came the question from Marinny…or was that the other twin? Twins make my brain hurt.

I was actually hanging with Renji, Keigo and a girl _friend_ of Keigo's yesterday. We went to a pub while Rukia was working. It was fun, but not as much fun as it would be if I were here yesterday with Rukia and all the munchkins.

Rukia looked at me expectantly with an eyebrow raised up. Just like all the other little kids here, she didn't know either.

I towered over them and acted serious, my arms flexing. "I was busy fighting the evil gang members of the Yakuza. Their dragon named Phillip tried to kill me so I let out my zanpaktou and killed him in less than five seconds!"

The little kids surrounding me looked up at me with astonished faces and a few "No way!"'s.

"What the fu—" Rukia almost said, after my heroic story. Her face read that she thought I was retarded or that I need group therapy to let out my strong emotions for swords and dragons.

Hinamori, a new friend of Rukia's who worked at the daycare kindergarten center as well, walked in holding Yukino and Midori's hands. Both of the little girls' faces lit up when they saw me and I smirked.

Yep, it's true, all kind of ladies love me.

"Rukia are you going somewhere with Ichigo today?" Hinamori asked, walking toward her.

For some unknown reason to me, Rukia blushed at what Hinamori said. "Uhh yeah. Ichigo is taking me to the zoo." Once she said that all of the tiny munchkins looked up at her and I with happy faces.

"Can we come?" Were the questions of the tiny voices surrounding me.

I looked down at them and then at Rukia. She seemed surprised and sorry for saying zoo out loud, her shoulders hunched up a bit.

Hinamori cut in before we could answer. "How 'bout we all go on Friday? Sound good?"

* * *

Rukia and I finally left the kindergarten place. It took around ten minutes just to say goodbye to all the kids. Hayate even refused to let go of Rukia, so I had to peel him off and grab Rukia, running for the car.

I imagined them all chasing after the car, Hayate with a bat in hand, and shuddered.

"Ready for the zoo?" I asked Rukia, turning my head to face her as she put her seat belt on.

She smirked and shook her head.

* * *

The first animals we saw were zebras, lions, and cheetahs.

Rukia's favorite zoo animal is the flamingo. She says it's because they stand out more than the peacock or than any other animal does. And the color of them just makes her grin from ear to ear.

My favorite zoo animal is the llama. Their cool, sophisticated personalities inspire me.

-

Each animal we saw we gave it a name. Every time Rukia and I go to the zoo we do that. I can't remember when it started, but it sure as hell is fun.

There was Henry the Penguin, Libby the Wolf, Veronica the Lioness, Larry the Llama, Mr. Butt Face the Monkey, Doo Diddley the Turtle, Jackson the Zebra, Conner the Hammer shark, and the list goes on forever.

I bought Rukia a pineapple mango smoothie and a stuffed animal flamingo an hour after we were there. She named the flamingo I gave her Mr. Strawberry.

No, this most certainly was not a date…right?

We went through the Avery House after that as well, I couldn't stand it though. All the tiny birds chirping and squeaking around irked me. Sure all the birds were really nice looking, but if I were an insane bird killer, I think I'd shoot them all. It wouldn't be like how Al Paccino shoots people; it'd be like with a machine gun and I'd be wearing some slick aviators.

Rukia actually got one bird to sit on her hand. I told her I'd laugh my ass off if it crapped on her hand. For probably the fourth time today, she hit me.

* * *

"What's next?" She asked excitedly, as we stood in the middle of a plaza, waiting for me to pick an area on the map for where to go.

I turned to her with an amused smile. "Home." She blinked. "My feet hurt."

Rukia snatched the map out of my hands with an angry look and scanned the map, her eyes widening each time she saw a place she liked.

"I say we go to" The word _to_ came out drawled. "…the carousel!" She sounded like Yuzu when we got her an easy bake oven.

"That's not a place with animals Rukia, and either I'm going home with or without you, now c'mon let's go to the car." I said, turning and pretending to go to the parking lot.

Rukia grabbed my hand and pulled me towards her forcefully. "No!" She said stubbornly. "We're going to the carousel now!"

I sighed and ended up walking to the carousel with Rukia, holding her hand and swinging it back and forth.

-

The carousel was filled with a bunch of people riding on plastic animals. (duh, it's a friggin carousel, where else do lazy kids go?)

Rukia picked the prettiest horse she could find and hopped on it delightedly. "Don't break it." I said to her as she hugged it.

I smirked at her as I got on the tiny, too small for me, yellow pony next to hers.

"Ichigo?" She asked me, smiling and ignoring my last comment. "Thanks for taking me to the zoo."

She seemed to smile a lot today.

I raised my eyebrow at her. "I didn't just take you, you know. I'm here too aren't I?"

For a moment Rukia seemed to be in space and then she blinked. "Yeah…thanks anyway though."

We were silent, just staring at each other.

"Princess Magical Bubbles Anne Marie Crumpet is bigger than your stupid little pony." She said, looking down at me with a triumphant smile.

I pushed her off her Princess Magical Bubbles Anne Marie Crumpet.

* * *

On Friday we took all of the kids in Rukia's kindergarten class to the zoo.

It felt like John and Kate plus eight, except it was plus twenty-two. Minus cameras.

Or no, it was Ichigo and Rukia plus twenty-two. And Hinamori.

You know those people you see at the zoo? Who have all those kids and they've got this train of them, and all the little kids are holding this colorful rope that has hand grippers attached, and some of the kids even have leashes, and most of the time it's always a female at the head of the colorful rope full of children?

Well, that was us.

Rukia and Hinamori kept telling the little brats to hold onto the rope so they wouldn't get lost, and I was pushing a stroller with Hinamori's friend's baby.

Practically every ten minutes we had to stop for a little kid who had a problem, and then almost every twenty minutes there was a potty break that even after the potty break somebody still had to pee.

Hinamori was telling me how worried she was of losing one of the little munchkins. I told her that she shouldn't worry because if one of them got lost they'd have to deal with a spanking from me. Rukia hit me in the back of the head with the map for saying that.

The trouble with lunch was that the kids kept feeding the pigeons that were landing on the table in the outside eating area. Some of them even started climbing up on the statues. I swear it was like a monkey house. And don't get me started on what those twins who I can't seem to remember their names did. Does anyone think that it's alright to be tackled by little kids you don't even know? Or worse, to start talking about koalas, My Little Pony, and Barbie; The Island Princess with them?

Hayate even made the mistake of calling Rukia 'Mama' too.

Well, I can't say it was a mistake because he probably meant it, but to me it was a mistake.

Rukia blushed and hugged him, saying how cute and adorable all the rugrats were. Is she blind on what he plans to do to her someday?

Once Hayate turns old enough to buy porn he's gonna earn a punch in the nose from me.

* * *

I miss the zoo.  I haven't been there in ever. :)

So that's completely unfair and I've decided that I'm just gonna play zoo tycoon or some crap like that. Woohoo.

My finals are over! Now…now…holy hell now I still have school. Narguheelpineapplegina. Oh yeah! I just got a new Killers shirt! I look pretty friggin rad in it man. I'm such a silly willy emotional problemo person who is _so_ gonna join pizza club! Hell yes.

Anyway, I actually kind of liked this chapter. I thought it was kinda cute.

Okay, so I'm sure people are tired of me talking (typing) or somethin', but uh…tell me what you think?

Sorry if it was too short. Hope you guys liked it anyway! 

Reviews?

I'll sing and dance to the oompa loompa song. I mean it.

:))))


	9. Love Me Dead

_**IX. Love Me Dead**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

I've decided to make a list of steps of how to get what I want and need. Kind of. Ish. More or so the guy that I want…

And if this list of steps doesn't work then I am a total, undeniable, loser, and I will walk around with a sign that says so and be an old, wrinkly woman who lives with sixty or so cats whom I can't remember their names. Except for Fitzwilliam, (darn, too much Pride & Prejudice!) who would be my favorite cat.

-

Steps On How To Subtly, but not obnoxiously, get the uber mega hot guy that you want.

**Step 1.**

**Show him that you are the most attractive person he will **_**ever**_** meet and that if he ever lost you he would be **_**crushed**_**.**

o-o

**Step 2.**

**Take cooking lessons with him. Every man wants a woman who can cook, and every woman wants a man who can cook. (I will not have a hubby who can only make me cheese fries and burnt lasagna!)**

o-o

**Step 3.**

**Make him utterly jealous by going out every so often with an attractive (but not as attractive as him) gentleman. (pshh like I can find one of those…seriously.)**

o-o

**Step 4.**

**Learn to tango.**

**Who doesn't think that the tango is sexy? And what other way to impress a guy than with dancing?**

o-o

Now that isn't the conclusion to the steps, because there's definitely going to be more, but at the moment those are the only ones that come to mind. Or ahem...some of them I don't think I'd be allowed to say publicly or out loud.

I've finally decided that hey, I am _not_ letting this guy get away from me. If I truly believe this is how I feel for him, then I guess I really have to go for it. (Not that these steps are actually going to help me win him over or anything)

Considering that this whole weird idea hit me on an impulse, I rode my bike to the closest Seven Eleven I could find and bought a small notebook and a cool yellow pen with a yellow ducky on it. It was the cutest thing ever.

But it cost me two dollars and eighty cents.

So I really have to learn to control my impulses and not buy overly expensive pens. (Shucks)

I must've looked extremely stupid, sitting there on the floor of the store, (yuck, it was probably germ infested from all the sick teenagers having sex on it or from the boogers that haven't found a Kleenex.) scribbling my four steps on how to get my lub.

"Rukia?" Someone said, standing beside me, with a bag in their right hand.

I looked up and saw Renji, his arms crossed over his chest and an amused smile on his face. "What are you doing on the floor?" He asked.

My face got red at being caught looking like a moron and I stood up to face him. "Haha, uhh n-nothing." Great. Life is just _dandy_. "Um, what's up?"

I walked out the door with him, wondering why he came in and didn't buy anything.

Renji gave me a weird smile and shook his head. "I was just gonna go buy some milk but I might as well go with you wherever you're going to make sure you don't get hurt."

I smiled at Renji and walked in the direction of my apartment. "Thanks, you really don't have to, but whatever floats your boat Renji."

In response Renji gave another smile. "Thanks Rukia."

For what?

"Thanks for what?" I asked a little bluntly.

He blushed and didn't say anything.

"Jeez Renji, no need to be a creeper." I joked, nudging him in the side.

"Ha…yeah."

* * *

Hmm, I guess a person really can change within two weeks.

Considering that that was the amount of time I hadn't talked to Renji, he's been acting differently. Not that I mind or anything, but I find it kind of weird.

Ichigo says he has the 'hots' for me, which I find _truly_ impossible. And awkward. And since it's coming from Ichigo it probably is some weird unbelievable lie.

Why would Renji like _me_?

Bleh.

Why can't Ichigo just whisk me away and have babies with me on a beach with a sunset in the background, or during a candlelit romantic picnic (How cliché.) and take away all my troubles?

Oh gee, now I'm starting to sound like Orihime in the ninth grade when she'd give anything to be Ichigo's wife.

Every other Wednesday I get to walk my adorable, lovable, cute, neighbors dogs. This daughter of one of the neighbors told me I was lame and a loser. Oh, I hope she has self-esteem issues.

Dog walking is _not_ a lame job! It's fun and a great workout.

Sometimes I wish I had dogs. Ichigo said they're too much of a hassle and that we couldn't take care of one because we're barely even home (squeal! Yes! He said home!…what the hell is the matter with me?) and that the dog might quote take a ginormous smelly dump unquote in our apartment.

I partly agree with that. It'd still be nice to have a happy little face greet me when I open the door.

Sigh. Yes, I'm a little lonely.

* * *

"Gosh Ichigo, you really are an illiterate." I said, chewing on a gummy bear from our scrabble game play best food ever bowl.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Like you're any better."

" Just because you can't spell Adirondack and I can doesn't mean you have to be a butthead to me."

I. Love. Scrabble.

Honestly, I am a total champion at it.

If there were Olympics for it I would be the gold medalist.

_Seriously._

"I'm not, you just suck passionately." He retorted.

Dear Lord, it's like talking to a sock.

I brushed a strand of hair away from my face frowned. "Gee thanks, and you make love to dead chicks."

"PMS." Ichigo said, putting the blocks with letters into the word he said.

"PMS isn't a word, it's an abbreviation." I said curtly, messing up his letters.

"Well it's what you're doing." His fingers reached the board and tried to fix his messed up letters.

"You know PMS only occurs with normal ovarian functions? You should be happy something isn't wrong with my uterus and ovaries." I said, looking at the board and trying to find a word to spell. "Speaking of my uterus, my period hasn't come for two months, which I find kind of freaky because I'm definitely not one to get drunk and have sex with some random hot guy."

Ichigo looked at me with a deadpan expression saying '_Like you could get a hot guy_'. "Wow Rukia, didn't know you were such a promiscuous midget." His fingers grabbed a snicker from the bowl.

"Are you implying that I'm extremely and very very sexy?" Came my teasing voice, hoping I was right.

And _BAM!_

**The Beginning and Action of Steps On How To Subtly, but not obnoxiously, get the uber mega hot guy that you want.**

**Starting with Step 1.** : work it Rukia! NAO! (I think. I hope. Oh gosh.)

* * *

Is there a way to miserably fail at trying to be sexy? Because I think I just did.

You know those times where it's appropriate to say '_Epic Fail_'?

Hmm, let's just say I think that just happened.

Not that my gorgey (gorgeous, duh) self _can't_ be…erm…sexy.

It's just not a win win for me.

"Rukia you can be such a weirdo sometimes," (Damn!) "wait no scratch that, all the time."(Double damn!) Ichigo said, getting up to go to the fridge after my little uhh…_show_, hiding his face from me.

"Like I didn't know that." I grumbled to myself a little miserably.

* * *

Well this is odd.

Ichigo won't stop staring at me.

Not that I don't mind or anything. It's just making me blush. _A lot_.

And isn't it kind of rude to be staring at people in public? I mean, we're in thrift store (I need new hairclips) and it's embarrassing me!

Woe…kinda.

I turned to Ichigo and frowned. "What? Is there a booger hanging from my nose or something?

He still stared at me strangely, making me self-conscious and really thinking that there might actually be a booger hanging from my nose. Crap! What if there is a booger hanging from my nose? I can't pick my nose in front of people here!

While contemplating this, through the corner of my eye I saw Ichigo semi gawk at me.

_What the hell?_

Did I grow a forty-eight inch boil in the last two minutes or something?

Ugh, not this again.

I stopped in front of an aisle, crossed my arms over my chest, and gave him a threatening look.

" 'Scuse me but isn't it a little rude to stare, Ichigo?

Ichigo huffed. "You obviously know I'm not really one for manners Rukia."

I rolled my eyes. " I think that'd be clear to even a blind monkey."

Yet again, Ichigo stayed silent and looked away from me.

I sighed and groaned. " Is there something you need to tell me Ichigo?"

After a minute Ichigo finally responded and said something to me I never thought _anyone_, not even my mom would say to me; "Rukia I think you're pregnant."

...I think I just had a seizure.

Literally.

"_WHAT?_" I hissed out at him, waking up babies from across the ocean and making them scream.

* * *

A/N: Wow am I a narcissistic bitch or what? Jeez.

Oh god, my dog is terrorizing little kids.

No seriously.

And lately he's been eating everything. Like _everything_ from my toe nails to the curtains.

How unfair.

Well, hey, uhh, I updated! And I just finished watching Ever After for the first time. Is it me or do most people imagine princes with long-ish pantene commercial flowing hair and while they ride these beautiful horses and their hair is just flying everywhere that you think you just died or peed a little(not really. that'd be kind of creepy.)

Did you guys like this?

It was kind of short and yes, as always, _pointless_.

But hey, I think I finally have an idea what to do with this story. I mean whenever I wrote this I did it for fun and didn't put any thought to it.

Yeah.

If you actually liked it or wanted to make me in the least bit happy, review?

I love reviews really. They make me feel special.

_Mon Merle A Perdu Une Plume?_


	10. Build Me Up Buttercup

**X. Build Me Up Buttercup**

**

* * *

  
**

I think I'm going to become a Buddhist.

I mean really, Buddha doesn't get hit in the head with inanimate objects by his so-called 'Best Friend' for speaking his mind, does he?

And hell, people even go along with his beliefs.

Speaking of my best friend, aren't best friends supposed to be nicer?

Aren't they supposed to give you hugs and cuddle with you?

What the hell kind of best friend do I have?

All she does is yell at me for being 'stupid'.

She's so _moody_.

I mean almost _everything_ I say offends her.

Going back on the moody subject, what's up with her being semi-calm in one minute and trying to be seductive the next?

Who does that other than a hooker getting paid half price?

Not that I'd ever let my best friend become a hooker.

And if she were a hooker I wouldn't let anyone touch her. Because really, what if she got an STD? Or something worse?

Not saying she'd be a bad hooker or anything like that…

"What the hell Rukia? Why are we going to take some crappy cooking lesson if I already know how to cook? We already took Food Ed. in high school so what's the point?" I asked, looking at her with one hand on the steering wheel and trying to keep my eyes focused on the road at the same time.

We were driving to this stupid cooking ish place where I'm sure it only taught you how to bake cookies and other crap like that. It was basically pointless.

Rukia crossed her arms over her chest and fidgeted in the passengers seat beside me.

"The point is Ichigo, I do not want you to only make me your stupid cheese fries and burnt lasagna on practically every holiday, special occasion and my birthday…which would technically count as a special occasion but whatever."

"But I thought you liked my cheese fries and burnt lasagna?"

Her eyes rolled back and for a second all I saw were the whites of her eyes. How creepy.

"Only when your sister helps you make them."

"So then why do you still eat them?"

Rukia's cheeks turned pink and she looked up at me angrily. "Becau—The road you idiot! Pay attention to the damn road! Stop staring at me like I'm a Staphylococcal infection!" She shrieked, causing me to swerve and hold onto the steering wheel until I probably dented it with my palms.

I _hate_ it when people yell at me in a car. I get so freaked out I don't even drive right.

If you ever mess with me in a car we'll probably either end up in a car crash, off the road or in a ditch. No joke.

"Damn it Rukia stop yelling at me in the car! You know I can't drive right!" I growled, pushing the gas pedal harder than it needed to be pushed.

"Well I wouldn't be yelling at you if you'd just pay attention and learn to drive right! Stay on the left lane! What are you doing? Stay on the _left_ lane!"

* * *

Tip: Never _ever_ openly voice your opinion to Rukia…or tell her you think she's pregnant.

She'll take it the wrong way. (And probably put you in a boiling pot of piranhas and giraffes)

When I told her this tidbit of information she screamed at me like there was no tomorrow.

Reason for thinking her eggo is preggo: 1) she's getting a little flubby in the tummy department and obviously no one except me would notice because _I'm_ her _best_ friend so…yeah, 2) she's moody…well she's always moody…but now it's worse, 3) I found a condom in her room. Yes, a condom! My first question is, who the hell is she sleeping with?

The only guy I ever remember her really liking is that guy Kaien Shiba who was in college while we were in high school. She used to talk about him all the time and it got really annoying. Whenever he came around she acted like such a dork. You know? All smart…and pretty… not that she isn't any of those on a daily basis…but you get the point. And she even wore make up when she was around him! Rukia _never_ wears make up around me! Or in general! I think he's married now… what a downer for her.

My second question is, where the hell is that son of a bitch she slept with so I can castrate him?

"_Don't_ say I told you so." Rukia said venomously. I could almost see her fangs and pointy tongue come out.

Earlier I told her the place probably wouldn't be open by the time we got there because it's a Sunday. I was obviously right.

If I were a girl I'd probably giggle at the sight of her face. But guys don't giggle. It's part of the Manly Code of Honor. So I settled for whistling.

Rukia screamed and kicked the door, looking like she was going to break it and eat it.

"What the hell you stupid store?" Hard kick. "Your website said you were open from nine am to frickin six pm! It's only four twenty!" Harder kick. "What's the _matter_ with you?" Harder-er kick.

I tapped her shoulder. "Did you check the weekend hours?"

She tensed and grew silent. For a second I thought she was gonna bust out in tears, but instead she looked like Medusa and pulled my ear and dragged me to the car. "We're going home and making something from the Food Network website!"

We got in the car and she shouted, "No cookies!"

* * *

I got a call from Tatsuki to go meet her and Orihime at the gas station right after I got to the apartment with Rukia. They said something about Ishida.

Rukia didn't look at me when she heard about it. She sighed deeply and walked into Penelope's Room.

She's such a confusing person.

When I left I heard the beginning of Sonata No. 14 in C-sharp minor, Op. 27, No. 2.

Which to me is one of the most depressing songs you might ever hear.

* * *

"What'd you guys need?" I asked as I walked up to Tatsuki and Orihime.

Tatsuki was frowning while Orihime looked a little embarrassed.

"Well you see…Ishida is…umm, I accidentally spilled a bottle of Coca Cola on his pants and apparently it got on his underwear as well and he doesn't want me or Tatsuki to go buy him new pants and underwear and we already asked Chad and Renji but they're not picking up their phones."

I blinked at them. What? "You want me to buy him underwear and pants?"

Both of them nodded.

Who the hell do I look like?

The undy-buying guy, that's who.

I grabbed my forehead and mentally groaned. "Alright, where is he?"

"In the bathroom in the gas station."

* * *

I now know the underwear and pant size of Ishida Uryu.

Gee, how awkward can that get? What a conversation starter.

I tried to find the most embarrassing underwear I could find for without seeming like a homosexual creep. But either way I think I gave off that appearance by grinning while looking at polka dotted briefs.

The kid at the cash register looked at me and his eyes popped out like Roger Rabbit's.

I was tempted to say, "Yes, these are actually for me. I'm a hot male stripper." but I didn't.

* * *

When I got back to the gas station and gave Ishida his new underwear and pants I could've sworn he screamed like a girl.

As soon as he got out I jumped into my (basically Rukia's) car and drove laughing all the way home. Nah, I don't feel bad at all.

* * *

Rukia was sitting on the couch with a carton of strawberry ice cream in her arms and watching the scene in Pride & Prejudice where Mr. Darcy is confessing his love to Elizabeth but she denies and they start to argue and then it seems like Mr. Darcy is about to kiss Elizabeth but he doesn't. The only reason I know this is because Rukia's made me watch that movie over ten times. It's a pretty complicated movie.

Rukia looked up at me and paused the movie right before Mr. Darcy is about to 'kiss' Elizabeth. "Oh, you're home. I half expected you to come in with a sombrero on your head and spouting something about a 'sexy party'." She commented lamely.

I snorted. "More like bought briefs with polka dots on them. And oh guess what, they weren't for me."

"Interesting. Didn't know you went that way Ichigo." She said, a smile creeping up her face.

I rolled my eyes and sat next to her on the couch. "Is Mr. Darcy gonna kiss Elizabeth or what?"

Rukia sighed contentedly and settled more into the couch until she was more comfortable, scooting closer to me until her head was practically on my shoulder and I could smell her hair. Personally, girls pamper themselves a bit too much. They always smell good no matter what. Even if they haven't taken a shower in days…although that's kind of stretching it. The shorts she was wearing lifted a little until it they were about ten ish inches above her knees. That's pretty damn short. I think I might need to get her a blanket in case someone walks in.

"Shut up and watch the movie Ichigo."

* * *

After the movie we actually went on the Food Network website and made something. I couldn't really understand the name of the dish 'cause it was all in Italian, but it sure as hell sounded good.

"Hey Ichigo?" Rukia asked, sitting on the counter and staring at me, her bright eyes pensive.

The food was in the oven cooking and it was already six thirty.

I sat in front of the oven and looked up at her. "Yeah?"

She was silent for a moment.

"I…I have something I need to tell you."

* * *

**A/N: **Wow…I have made one of the most crack ish blarg stories. Kinda.

But hey, let's be glad everyone's not dancing to Abba and acting weirder than I made them out to be. Right? Just agree.

Uhhh, so it's a pretty indecent update, but hell, it's an update. And what do you know? I'm not dead...

Soooo...I think that review button is pretty much screaming to all of you: "Hey sexy? I know you wanna click me. So let's do it babe. You'll feel good afterward. Mmmhhhmmm."

You children know what I'm talking about. (And yes, I'm a bit of a creep.)


	11. Maybe I Will

**XI. Maybe I Will**

* * *

Steps On How To Subtly, but not obnoxiously, get the uber mega hot guy that you want.

**Step 5.  
**

**Burn some damn calories. Once your love thinks your gaining weight it might go downhill. And if it does go downhill you shoot him with a shotgun. Not kidding. (yes I am…)**

**Step 6.  
**

**Destroy '**_**Love**_**' book. I am currently in a state of crabbiness.  
**

It turns out I'm expected to be in London tomorrow.

It kind of seems like I have no control of my life at all. I mean I'm expected to buy groceries and buy things for my apartment with and for my bum of an unrequited love who can't seem to learn what the word 'independent' means and then he decides to fool around while I mull over and die of a heart induced thing inside my lonely apartment. Honestly. No control whatsoever.

My brother wants me to 'coincide a meeting' with him. Whatever the hell that means. And in London! London! Why London? Makes no sense at all. So therefore I'm leaving the lovely slob who lives with me for a week. I can honestly say I'm going to miss him (obviously! I'm in love with the idiot!) and his slobbish-ness. And his face. Dear lord the beautiful face of his.

Anyway, I've actually known about all this for about a week (not about Ichigo's face, the London thing).

If I had a dog the poor baby would think I'm leaving for good. Oh but imagine the cute face on it when I return. (sigh) I'm in need of a cuddly animal.

I've packed all of my expensive clothing for the trip since I'm going to be with my brother, which is obviously saying if you dress like a poor person around me I disown you as a sister. Derr.

Besides, if I somehow disappoint him I'll probably crap my pants and cry for an extremely long period of time.

You see, my brother Byakuya, is not the nicest neighbor on the block. He's more or so the neighbor you try to avoid or stay off their lawn because if they even catch you with a toe on their luscious green grass they'll spray you with a hose that has water shooting out of it eight hundred miles an hour. Which I imagine would feel extremely painful.

So if I screw this trip up and look in any way, shape or form, or even remotely close to the word: deficient, my ass is on the line. And I most definitely do not want it there.

He also has a _lot_ more money than I do. Wait, that's not true. He actually _shows_ his money publicly while I try and hide it. I can't really say 'Damn rich people.' since I'm a rich person myself. I'm just not a snobby bragger. Ish.

Telling Ichigo about the London thing was about the hardest thing I ever did in my life next to calling back my brother about the trip. Now _that_ was pretty hard. I definitely cried tears of courage.

Being the person my best friend is, the only thing he could think to say when I told him about going to London for a week was "Oh."

Gee, that's a definite sign of shock.

I couldn't tell if his "Oh." was saying "Why?" or if it was just saying "Oh."

I was more or so expecting him to whine and say, "Why can't I come?"

So, the eventful last whole day of spending time with Ichigo wasn't so eventful. I kind of wanted him to be like "Rukia darling! I can't be without you for one second! Please stay!" Or something like that. But really, what was I expecting? This is Ichigo we're talking about. Not some hot sexy kissable man with gorgeous hair from a cheesy romance novel. (which I do love to read and fantasize about)

"Really Ichigo? This is how I'm going to spend my last day with you before I go to London? Sitting on a bench and drinking orange juice? Really?" I meant it when I said the day was eventful.

Ichigo huffed. "I can't think of anything to do."

I rolled my eyes. "I can think of many things actually. (reowr.) And here I thought you were more creative than I am."

"I probably am. But since you're leaving I don't want to leave you with a bad memory of me." Like you being caught making out with another woman on _my _couch? No that's not bad at all. His finger was fiddling with an orange strand of his hair and his eyes were watching the people walking past us.

We were sitting on a very uncomfortable wooden bench outside our apartment in our pajamas watching as people (who are actually dressed) walked past us. No, this was not my bright idea. I would've preferred being dressed and in a nice restaurant with air conditioning. But I clearly don't get my way.

"Look smarty, I don't care what we do as long we do _something_. Besides, how could I leave with a bad memory of you?" Unless I find you sleeping with someone again. Otherwise a suicidal girl would be on the loose and coming after a certain orange haired male. "If you want to make a _good _memory then just" Kiss me you fool! Kiss me! "stop thinking and have some fun like you, I mean we, normally do. The concept isn't that hard to grasp you know." Or you could help me complete my impossible to do list.

It's hard not to have a heart attack at the sight of Ichigo's eyes. And the name of his eyes are so pretty too. Huge mega sigh.

Ichigo didn't answer and I was starting to get frustrated. So much so that I was tempted to strangle him with a string of yarn. Too bad I don't own any yarn. I can't sew for my life.

I sighed. I didn't want to do _nothing _on my last day. Where's the excitement in that? Where's the _romance_ in that? (unless I watched Romeo & Juliet for the nth time.)

"How about the library?" Ichigo suggested unexpectedly. The what?

"Since when did you become interested in books?" I asked rather bluntly. Oh crap, what if I was actually talking about the romance novel stuff out loud? No! Now I can never face him again! Why me?

"Since the apocalypse happened. But I'm just asking about it because I remember you saying you just finished that one book with that creepy cover of some long haired guy holding some sorrowful looking girl in his arms. Really, who would put a picture of _that_ on a book? It looks like a porno!"

"A porno? Excuse me but I do _not_ read _porn!_ For your information that book was about passionate love on the sea! On the sea! The farthest thing from porn! And the cover even had the sea in the background! Are you on drugs or something?" _Why_ exactly am I best friends with this…this attractive looking dummy? I'm not really sure anymore.

"Rukia I'm just saying what I see. And that, dear porno reader, is what I consider to look like porn. And no, I'm not on drugs. Are you?"

I tried to suppress a scream. You know, didn't want to attract too much attention from the strangers walking past us. I'm sure our conversation must have sounded very interesting.

"Ichigo!!" I practically shrieked.

He looked at me and blinked in confused manner. Oh, _now_ he acts cute. Too bad it isn't working on me! I think.

"Shut up! We're getting dressed and going to the library! No more talking about the books I read! Got that?"

Crap, I spilled orange juice on my shirt. Maybe I need anger management.

* * *

"You know I actually thought you were more...what's the word....careful than that but it turns out you aren't. I mean, we were only sitting down and you still somehow manage to spill juice on yourself."

"Do not make me kill you in public Ichigo." I tried to whisper, but more or so yelled. I'm not good in libraries with Ichigo. He ruins my composure in public.

"Shh!!" Cried the librarian with a wrinkly finger to her pursed lips. Stupid old cow.

Ichigo waved a hand at her and continued talking to me, this time in a low whisper. I couldn't help but notice that when he whispers his voice turns kind of raspy and smooth. Oh lord I'm drooling.

"Don't get so angry. You'll get a hernia like that." He picked out a book with no title on it and sat on the floor.

"I'm not angry and you cannot get a hernia from being mad. You get it from carrying things that are too heavy." My eyes scanned the books in front of me. Where's Sense & Sensibility when you need it?

"Whatever. Just find a book that you can read on the plane and while you're in Europe. Also, I'm still kind of confused. Why _are_ you going?" Ichigo looked away from his book and up at me.

"Wow, I didn't take you for a caring type. And I told you already. My brother wants to speak with me about some things." I picked out a random book from the shelf. "Haven't you thought that he might actually want to spend some time with his sister? You know it's not completely impossible."

"I'm clearly the caring type. We're talking about Byakuya right? Not some other imaginary person?"

"Yes, we are talking about my brother Byakuya." I clarified angrily.

I am aware of the fact that my brother isn't the best at expressing his feelings, which is exactly why I give him some leeway. I mean Ichigo isn't the best at voicing his thoughts. And Renji isn't the best at making sense. And Chad isn't the best at talking. So see?

"Oh. Just making sure. 'Cause you know? He's a very loving brother and all. "

"Why you li—"

"Shh!" The old librarian woman almost shouted.

Damn it! This librarian is pissing me off! I'm tempted to scream at her to stop shh-ing me! No one shh-es me!

* * *

I can't sleep.

Oh gosh I can't sleep.

Why can't I sleep?

If I don't go to sleep now I'm probably going to wake up late and miss my plane!

I can't miss my plane! If I do Byakuya will _kill_ me!

Why can't it be nine am already instead of three thirty two am?

Ugh, I need to add more steps my list. (even though I haven't even completed the first 6. woe is me.)

**Step 7.  
**

**Take some control!!! There is no way I'm letting my soon to be hubby (I wish) overpower me!**

o-o

**Step 8.  
**

_**Kill**_** Dyno-mite Hooker. (aka Ichigo's ukulele) There's no reason for it. Mostly self explanatory.  
**

o-o

**Step 9.  
**

**Learn new piano songs. I need something new to play to impress Ichigo so he can proclaim his undying love to me as I play some beautiful romantic song under the moonlight.**

o-o

**Step 10.**

**Complete first nine steps. (yet to be achieved obviously) If I don't complete those I'm doomed.**

o-o

**Step 11.  
**

**Tell him you love him. (hopefully you know who 'him' is)**

**

* * *

  
**

Oh god.

Today's the day I leave for London.

I think I'm gonna hyperventilate.

Calm down. It's not like you're never coming back because you are coming back. But you're gonna be gone for a week. What if the apartment burns down? What if you have an epiphany of some sort? What if you actually get the courage to tell Ichigo how you feel while you're gone? Ugh if you call him and confess that would be so unromantic. What am I gonna do? What if I forget something really important like my lucky pair of Chappy underwear?

That would be terrible!

"Just hurry up and drive me to the airport you idiot!" I screamed at Ichigo as I got in the passengers seat of my beat up green car, trying to put on my painful pumps.

As we drove to the airport I tried to remember if I forgot to put anything in my suitcase and bags. Toothbrush? Clothes? Hats? Lucky pair of Chappy underwear? Were my suitcase and bags even in the trunk?

Ichigo didn't look too good this morning and I was convinced he was going to vomit on me so I tried to have all the car windows open but that ended with everything in the backseat flying everywhere. Amount of happiness in day so far: 12/100.

I'm hoping that Ichigo retained, or at least paid attention to all the information I gave him, while in the car, that told him not to use the stove while I'm gone, his favorite t shirt is in his room under his bed, only buy groceries that are on the list I made, don't leave the toaster plugged in all day or it might catch fire, vacuum the carpet in the living room and last but not least throw away the garbage. I'm _hoping_ he retained or at least paid attention to all the information I gave him, but I have a feeling that he didn't at all.

Like I said, I have no control.

* * *

Hallelujah I'm not late for the plane! Five more minutes until it departs! I do have control!

I decided that I might as well go on the plane so I could at least find a seat where I'm comfortable instead of sit next to a person who keeps asking me questions that I'm not really sure of answering.

Ichigo handed me my bags and suitcase (that I made him carry. Psshh he wouldn't carry them on his own free will) and stared at me, making my knees turn to mush. Why does he have those beautiful eyes?

"Rukia?" Sigh. The way he said my name just melted my heart.

"I…you…yeah?" Damn it why can't I learn to be coherent? I'm not that lame. I think.

"I'm…" Spit it out already Ichigo! Not literally about the spitting part… "I'm gonna miss you a lot." He said, shoving my face into his chest rather hard. Oh how delicious he smelled. Ah, this is a _great_ memory. In a movie this would've been a sentimental moment where the hero is nearly in tears and so is the heroine. But since I can't see Ichigo's face at all I'm the only one being love crushed. Amount of happiness in day so far: 88/100. If he kissed me it would've been way better.

I was about ready to pounce on him and take him in public.

* * *

Is there something that attracts complete weirdos to me? Is it my hair? I've had to deal with this strange man for the past five hours! Why did he have to pick me to sit next to? I'm not that mean but this man is by far creepier than…than I don't know whom but some famous creep.

Gah! He's giggling at me!

Wait a minute; something in my pocket is vibrating. What the hell? Oh, it's just my phone.

Oh great. Who the heck is calling my cell phone that I barely ever use?

"Hello?" I asked, turning around in my seat so I didn't have to face the person sitting next to me.

"Rukia?" The voice on the other side of the phone asked.

"Renji? Why are you calling me?"

* * *

**A/N:** Hello my lovely reviewers. :) Did you like it?

I think it was kind of short. I mean, the interaction between Ichigo and Rukia was kind of like…err…short. But I mean, what would you do with a person the day before they go to Europe? Especially if you're kind of brain dead? Anyway, I'm hoping you could at _least_ like their little 'moment'.

Plus this was sort of a rushed job. :)

Mr. Review button in scrumptious green (or whatever color it shows up on your screen) is hungry like the wolf. He would _love_ it if you fed him. Reowr.

Go ahead babies.


	12. Always Where I Need To Be

**XII. Always Where I Need To Be**

**

* * *

  
**

There is _snow._

Bad. _Bad._

And I'm cold.

Stupid weather.

Stupid unwashed clothes because stupid Rukia isn't here.

Stupid Byakuya for making stupid Rukia take a stupid plane ride to stupid London.

I picked up the phone, calling for maybe the fourth time, waiting for _stupid _ Rukia to pick up. What the hell is she doing anyway? And why isn't she picking up her phone? Shouldn't she have it with her all the time in case of an emergency? What if I accidentally leave the toaster plugged in overnight and burn the apartment down?

Stupid toaster.

"_Please leave a message after the beep." _Beep.

"If you don't pick up I'm going to find you and flush you down a large toilet."

* * *

The first day Rukia was gone I went to a bar with Keigo and Mizuiro, got drunk off my arse, went home repeatedly calling out "Rukia?" and then thirty minutes afterwards realizing she was gone for the next six days. I'm pretty sure I slept on the floor that night.

The second day I called her three times, maybe more, and when she picked up she sighed and said, "Thank god it's you. I haven't been able to complain for a whole day. Do you realize how wrong that is?"

Being me, I couldn't help but make a _hilarious _comment and listen to her giggle. Rukia did complain a lot though. But I strangely didn't care. She said how at the hotel she lost her key to get inside her own room and then ran around the hotel like a lunatic looking for the hotel key. When she finally found it, (it was in her butt pocket the whole time) she obviously went inside her room and tried to take a nap only to be interrupted by a phone call that said she had to be in the lobby in the next fifteen minutes and I quote the guy she was on the phone with "Or else." It was Byakuya' assistant or something like that.

After being on the phone with her for longer than two hours and realizing what time it was (London is three hours ahead) she said she had to wake up early tomorrow to see Byakuya _again_.

The third day Rukia was gone I stared at the ceiling in her bedroom and tried not to smirk at the glow in the dark stars on it.

When we first got the apartment Rukia wasn't warming up to her room so I bought her glow in the dark stars and stuck them to her ceiling. I then proceeded to use highlighter and draw stick figures fighting each other. She of course yelled at me but then drew an owl. Hypocrite.

Too tired and bored, I didn't get out of bed until two in the afternoon and thinking I wanted waffles only to find out that we didn't have waffles. Lame.

Rukia called me and said how nervous she was to be in front of Byakuya and that she nearly fell out of her chair and when he turned to ask her how she was. When Rukia is nervous it's one of the most entertaining things to see. She gets all flustered and unable to speak and her face goes pink and red. Although I do occasionally find it annoying depending on whom she's nervous around.

Sometimes I question if she's still a high school kid.

She also mentioned how luxurious the hotel bathroom was and how she didn't ever want to leave it. But that only reminded me of how she always sings 'Wouldn't It Be Nice' in the shower and all the high notes that she butchers.

The fourth day I thought of how lonely and quiet the apartment is without Rukia. Not wanting to be there, I left the apartment for the entire day and tried not to think about it.

Tatsuki took me shopping with her, which did take my mind off of things but when we walked past a toy store and saw a large stuffed bunny I turned away and went in the opposite direction, nearly trampling over a teenage girl and making her giggle. Stupid bunnies. Stupid teenagers.

"What's wrong with you?" Tatsuki asked, looking amused at my reactions to things that reminded me of Rukia.

I rolled my eyes, replying "Everything."

* * *

Rukia is coming back in two days.

_Finally_.

It feels like I've waited forever just for her to come back. My laundry isn't done, there are still dirty dishes in the sink and I even, for once, attempted to do the dishes, the cable isn't paid for so I have nothing to do except watch Fight Club for the twelfth time, Renji won't stop talking about Rukia so I am forced to think about Rukia, and _Rukia_ has only picked up her phone about twelve times this week and I've called her around twenty times.

"Did you buy me anything?" I ask, more like grumble, on the phone. I have a blanket wrapped around myself and am only in my boxers, cradling the phone to my ear and listening to Rukia.

She snorts inelegantly. "As if."

My chest does this weird flutter thingy when her snort reminds me of the time I took her ice skating and she laughed so hard she snorted because she saw me trip over a little girl and then land on her. I didn't know Rukia had such a mean side. But that moment where she laughed has always been stuck in my brain.

"Don't be such a butthead and buy me a shirt that says 'I love London.' I'm sure it's only around five bucks."

"Ew Ichigo, that's so tacky. I'll seem like those annoying tourists who pretend they have a British accent. And you _know_ how I feel about those people." She said, huffing a bit.

Lately Rukia's been acting a little odd. I'm not sure why but it's bugging me. Her mind always seems to be somewhere else when I'm on the phone with her and most of the time our conversations range from me checking up on her and me just asking if she can come back any sooner.

Normally I wouldn't care about this but my withdrawal of Rukia has been unsettling.

I'm not saying I can't do _anything_ without her being around. I just choose not to.

Yesterday I was explaining to her about the laundry deal and she absentmindedly said, "What would you do without me Ichigo?" I don't think she meant anything by it but it made me panic so I just wisely said "I…uh…I gotta go."

So far I've been trying to block out that question but it keeps coming back and biting me in the ass.

What am I supposed to say? "I have no idea because I haven't planned that far ahead in life."? Yeah, that's a great answer.

"Did you just say tacky?" I asked, trying to sound surprised. Rukia never ceases to surprise me. She's always got some weird word from the past that she uses unexpectedly. "I don't think I've heard that word since the 90's."

"Ha ha ha." She laughed monotonously. Sometimes I question if she ever has a sense of humor or if she's just a robot. If she's a robot then she's a pretty hot robot…I mean…she'd be a total C3PO…but a girl version…yeah.

"Oh shut up. You're the one who wants the stupid shirt."

"So you're getting it for me then?"

I could tell that by her response there was a smile in her voice. "I'll get right on that." Oh, she's funny. There was a pause between us and I didn't know what to say. Saying 'I miss you' over the phone makes it seem like I'm her long distance boyfriend. Which I'm not.

I'm just the best friend who calls her every waking hour. "Crap. Ichigo, sorry, I have to go. I'm getting another call. Tell Hinamori I said hi okay?" I blinked at what she said in a bit of confusion. Is she blowing me off right now? "Ichigo?" She asked, her voice making me shudder.

Shaking my head, I tried not to think of how she said my name and the effect it had on me. "Uh, yeah. I'll tell her."

She sounded like she laughed but I couldn't tell. "Lovely response after I just said I have to go."

It was strange. Something in me felt disappointed that she had to go and I didn't know why. "Whatever. I…" I miss you. "I'll see you later."

Damn it.

There's definitely something wrong with me.

* * *

"So how's Rukia?"

Sometimes I just wanna punch Renji in the gut and hope his stomach swallows him whole.

"Fine."

"Really? Does she like London?"

I took a bite of my hamburger. "I guess." If Rukia were here she'd yell at me for speaking with my mouth full of food. But who cares, she's coming back in a day and I need all my man time today.

"That's good. You think she's met anyone there?" Renji wondered out loud, directing most of his questions to me.

I sighed and swallowed the peace of meat in my mouth. "I don't know Renji."

The guy who I'm sitting next to at his house is beginning to annoy me. All he's been doing every time I come over is ask about Rukia, think about Rukia and on and on.

"If she has I wonder who it is. Would you care Ichigo?" He asks way too many questions.

I stared at the television and tried to focus on the game I was trying to play, the burger still hanging in my mouth.

"Hey." Renji said, hitting me on the back of the head.

I groaned. "What do you want me to say? Probably not. If anything a man would be good for Rukia." Not really. If it meant Rukia would be gone all the time then that'd be bad. I grabbed the soda on the floor, hoping nothing got in it. If I drank a bug I'd be pissed. "Why do you keep asking all these questions Renji?" No, really, Rukia has a phone too. He could just ask her.

My mind was on the television and burger beside me, so I wasn't really expecting his answer. When it came I spit out my drink and choked a little.

"What did you say?" I've always been a disbelieving person. Or maybe I'm just an ignorant and oblivious person. It's one of those two.

"I said that I told Rukia that I liked her." Renji repeated calmly.

What the hell? I feel like some zombie just grabbed my heart and squeezed. What I really wanted to know was what her response was. I'm almost positive Rukia doesn't like Renji. If she did she would've told me. Right? But what if the reason she's been acting so out of it is because of what Renji told her? What if she does like him and leaves me? What if that's why she hasn't picking her phone up so much?

"W-What did she say?" Please be no, please be no.

It took all I had not to pull my hair out and slam his face on the floor.

Renji was silent for a moment and glanced at the television.

I think I must've looked like an oversized bug because my eyes were so wide in awe and surprise.

"What I expected." He replied, getting up from his couch and going to his kitchen.

Wait, what did he expect? A yes? A no? What?

"Which is?" I asked, sort of eagerly and trying to hide that.

In a way I knew it was no because as he said 'What I expected' his eyes got glassy and he turned away. That means no, right? But Renji needs to man up! It's just Rukia, how the heck can she make anyone fall in love with her?

Renji rolled his eyes. "Starts with an n and ends with an o.

...

YES.

For the remainder of the time I was with Renji I tried not to smile.

* * *

I didn't smile all the way home.

Nope.

I didn't sing along in Rukia's car to Don't Stop Believin' by Journey.

I didn't leave the windows open and feel the cold air nip me in the arms just to make me pay attention to the road.

I didn't say hi to a stranger and pet their dog on my way inside the apartment.

And I didn't stay up all night waiting to go pick Rukia up.

Not at all.

* * *

I've been waiting for Rukia at the airport for only fourteen minutes and I'm already anxious. Am I supposed to hold up a sign that says "Looking for Rukia Kuchiki" so she knows where I am? Damn it. That's a better idea than just standing here by the car freezing my ass off.

I wonder if I have markers in the car and some paper. At least then I could draw a bunny and attempt to get her attention or just yell her name out lo—god damnit.

There she is.

When I saw her walking out of the airport, dragging her suitcase along in one hand and holding her cardigan closed with the other, her eyes looking down and showing her long dark eyelashes, her cheeks rosy from the cold air, her dark hair fluttering in the wind, I realized it; Fuck. I've missed her way too much for just a friend.

Rukia saw me, her eyes lighting up and my stomach lurched.

I bit my lip and tried not to think of how many times I've seen her come to me, a smile on her face, and looking so beautiful.

She walked up to me with an amused smile. "Are you gonna stand there and watch as I jack your, wait, _my_ car, or are you going to drive me home and make me dinner while we watch Fringe?"

Her eyes seemed to shine in the light and her face was glowing. I looked down at her, stepping closer so she was only a few inches away from me. "No, I think I've got something better."

* * *

**A/N:** OHMAIGAWD.

Um…sorry that I haven't updated in a really long time?

Sorry if this chapter wasn't as beastly as I wanted it to be?

To be honest I was actually gonna make Rukia's trip into three chapters and have Ichigo complain the entire time but I didn't want to wait that long or else I'd forget everything else that I was thinking of…if that makes sense. And I was a little uninspired to continue this. Whatever, I'll find my creative flow sometime soon.

Complaints? Endearments?

Tell me dahlings!

…and sorry this took so long.

push it. to the limit. (you know what I'm talking about...reowr)


	13. I Like You So Much Better

**XIII. I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked.**

**

* * *

**

If you knew me in high school you would know that I never went to a single school dance. I hated them. Even when Ichigo asked me to go I said I'd rather drink toilet water. I'd seen enough high school dances in movies and television shows. That was definitely enough.

Not that I didn't have enough killer dance moves, but the world just wasn't ready to experience them unless I was drunk enough.

There comes a time though, when the world isn't prepared but the drunk already is.

And incidentally, that was tonight.

Obviously I was unaware of this coming of age story and happening, but I knew something bad or crazy was going to happen.

"Rukia, you look fine." Ichigo muttered, grabbing the shoulder of the passenger seat while backing up into the parking spot. He never was good at parallel parking.

I wanted to bite his head off. "I look like a mother effing librarian Ichigo! People are gonna think I'm Mary Poppins or Mother Teresa!" I screamed, pulling at my hair and glancing at my reflection in the rear view window.

"Calm down." He muttered, a tiny smile on his lips. "I already said you look fine, isn't that good enough?"

"No! All you wear are T-shirts and occasionally the nice button up! Plus you've got the looks to pick people up! I don't, you crap for brains. How else am I supposed to bring anyone home looking like this?" I cried. As always, I'm right. I don't have enough boobage to even have a guy look down my shirt. Believe me, Ichigo has mentioned this _many_ times.

Ichigo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb. Hey, that's what I do! _I'm_ the stressed one! "Rukia, _please_, shut up. If you don't get out of this car right now I'm picking you up and dragging you in there. Do you understand?"

I scoffed. "Like you'd do that. You know how I feel when people tr—OH MY GOD! Get off of me!" Okay, screaming doesn't help in situations like this.

"You've obviously underestimated me. And yes, I know how you feel when people try to pick you up. You act like a drowning cat." My best friend replied coolly, locking the car doors.

When desperate times call for desperate measures you scream and point: "Hey look! That girl's not wearing any underwear!"

Surprised at my sudden outburst, Ichigo loosened his hold on me, glancing at the area I pointed at.

Obviously being the smart cookie that I am, I took this opportunity to make my escape. A knee to the stomach (or is it kidney?) always helps when your captor isn't paying attention.

Ichigo fell down and clutched his stomach, glaring at me and shouting "WHAT THE HELL?"

I jumped up and squealed, heading for the car.

Hmm, I don't believe I've mentioned to you the reason of my distress, have I?

Well, it starts like this:

"No, I think I've got something better." Ichigo said, before I entered the car at the airport.

"And what exactly is this 'something better'? Hm?" I do believe at that moment I was flirting. How embarrassing.

Ichigo smiled, showing his tiny dimples that I love so much. "You'll see." He said, guiding me into the car.

Something Better ended up being Something Crappier. As in 'Welcome to Spin, the newest and hottest nightclub around!' I don't do party scenes or nightclubs or any place where people publicly dance. Duh.

_That's_ how I ended up here, at around 9:50, grabbing frantically at my car as Ichigo tried to pry me away from it.

"I'm not going into that dirty place! You can't make me!" Like all men, they can't seem to understand that NO means NO. I already felt uncomfortable enough as it is. This damn pencil skirt was sucking the life out of the lower half of my body! I mean I still looked cute but the skirt was hugging me so tightly it looked like I wasn't wearing any underwear…which I totally was.

_Completely_ unexpectedly, Ichigo moved his lips towards my ear, his breath fanning on my face and on my ear, making me shiver and my eyes flutter. "Rukia," He said softly, running his finger up and down my arm…oh my gosh! What is going on? Since my body never cooperates with my brain, I just stood there like an idiot and tried not to giggle.

"Just for tonight." Ichigo whispered and stopped with arm thingy, causing me to at least try and figure out what was going on.

"O-Okay." I said stupidly, letting my so called best friend guide me to the entrance of the god forsaken place where people 'dance'. Honestly, it looked crappy and clichéd enough with the lighted sign that screamed SPIN.

We didn't even have to wait in line since Ichigo had so many 'connections', as people call them. So when I realized what had just happened, I didn't get the chance to yell at Ichigo for stupidly persuading me like that because we had just stepped into black hole with so many colorful lights flashing that someone probably could've had a seizure from just looking at them.

"Ichigo I can't see a damn thing!" I hissed, grabbing at his hand. "This is like some dumb rave thing or whatever you call it."

He grabbed my hand and squeezed it, pulling me along through the crowd and snaking his way towards the fluorescent lighted bar.

"Hey Ichigo!" Someone shouted to him. How could anyone even see in this damn place?

For all I knew I wasn't even holding Ichigo's hand. Except it did feel like his since it's so soft and strong. Not that I've held hands with him before…or anything even remotely romantic. Kinda.

"Hey Mizuiro." Ichigo replied, pulling me into his side.

Oh my. Did it just get hot in here or have I just teleported to a sauna that smells as good as Ichigo does?

"Where is everyone?" Ichigo asked casually, glancing around, and placing his hand on my shoulder.

Mizuiro took a sip from the drink in his hand. Was that an apple martini?

"They're probably either getting drunk or dancing. I'm not sure. Keigo and Orihime were with me a second ago."

Well, damn. That means I'm not attracting any attention. Darn Orihime's got the bust size of Dolly Parton.

"Hi Rukia." I blinked and turned, unfortunately met with…dun dun dun! Renji.

Ichigo's hand on my shoulder tightened a bit and I tried my hardest not to giggle.

"I…uh…hi Renji." I replied nervously.

Why am I nervous you may ask?

For one, Ichigo's hand kept inching towards my neck and I felt like if someone poked me I'd burst into bubbles.

For two, while on my so brilliant trip to visit my scary and menacing brother, I got a phone call from Renji. A phone call that said "Rukia, I…I don't know how to say this but I love you." Now since I've _obviously_ longed for Ichigo for a rather long time and didn't see this confession coming from Renji, I could only say "Uhhhh…" And then he so bluntly cut in saying "But I know you like Ichigo…I just wanted to get it out there. What I felt for you I mean…" Which in turn I lamely said "Riiiiight." Not the nicest thing to say after something like that. "So…yeah." Renji said uncomfortably. And theeeen I mumbled a quick "Sorry!" and hung up.

For three, now I actually had to face Renji in person and talk to him…about something.

I slid out of Ichigo's hold on my shoulder and took a seat at the bar, signaling for Renji to sit next to me and for Ichigo to shoo.

Oh well, I might as well face the tiger than run away from it. I think.

Unsure of exactly what I was doing with Renji, Ichigo scowled at me and turned to Orihime, who had just popped up from the freaky darkness of this place.

"How was your trip?" Renji asked me almost shyly, simultaneously waving the bartender over.

I smiled. "It was great. I mean aside from the long airplane ride and the ear popping thing, yeah." Ugh, I could already feel this conversation was going nowhere.

"Yeah?"

I bit my lip. "Yup. Uh, 'scuse me can I get what he's having?" I asked the bartender, pointing to the cute little drink that Mizuiro was holding. I wonder if they serve burgers here. I haven't had anything to eat since four. I actually doubt that though. What kind of club has hamburgers?

Beside me, Renji sighed. "Look Rukia, about our phone convers—"

I know it's rude to cut people off, but I did it anyway. Not having the heart to say "Shut up man." I lifted my hand to stop him and forced a smile. "Relax Renji. We're not here to talk about…that."

He looked away and nodded, seeming a little defeated.

I bit my lip and turned my head, noticing that Ichigo left me to sit here with Renji. Oh, that's great. Thanks for sticking around pal, maybe I'll go and get laid like a normal twenty one year old and lock you out of the apartment. Glaring at nothing in particular, I swiveled around in my chair and faced Renji again.

Except it wasn't Renji anymore.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked bluntly, not completely realizing what I said aloud.

The person rolled her eyes at me. "Do you say that to all the people you sit next to at bars?"

I sucked my teeth. "Sure, let's go with that."

* * *

An hour later found me playing with a drunkard's iTouch. The drunkard I mean is the moody thirty year old who's been sitting next to me and talking about her ex-boyfriend who dumped her because she didn't like Barry Manilow.

Although really, who doesn't love Barry Manilow?

"What about you?" She croaked at me, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and looking disheveled. Her running mascara made her look like the Joker. Yeesh.

I didn't bother to know what the hell she was talking about. "What about me?" I asked distractedly, playing an _extremely_ hard level of Tap Tap 2. Seriously though, who's the genius that comes up with all these apps for the iTouch?

She hiccupped. "Does your boyfriend still love you?" Oh, are we best friends already? But it's only been an hour.

"I don't have a boyfriend." I muttered darkly, already upset that she was making me suck at Tap Tap 2.

"No!" She gasped, putting her hand to her mouth in shock and causing me to drop her iTouch in my martini glass.

"Damn it." I growled, fishing it out and hoping that it didn't break since I still had some alcohol in the cup.

"How old are you sweetheart?" She asked worriedly. Oh gosh, she made it sound like I had some horrible disease.

"I'm tw—" OH MY GOD SHE JUST BURPED IN MY FACE. I wrinkled my nose in disgust and coughed, hitting my chest harder and turning away.

"Excuse me." She giggled, finding her burp quite funny.

UGH! Is that putrid smell her breath? I plugged my nose and scowled at her. "I have to go use the bathroom." I said nasally.

Damn people and their damn problems. You know I have problems of my own and I hardly feel the need to always voice them! And what kind of place is this? Where's the manners? I feel like I'm trapped in a room full of cavemen! Most of them don't even know how to speak due to the crap alcohol!

"Guhh." I grunted, squeezing my way through a tight packed crowd somehow capable of speaking and lazily moving to the music on the speakers.

I bumped into someone and almost screamed at them. Who the hell thinks they can bump into me?

"Rukia?"

I looked up and stared at Ichigo's face, surprised at how close I was to him.

"Ichigo? What are you doing?" I asked, or more like screamed since the music was too loud and the noise from the crowd increased the chance of him misinterpreting what I was trying to say.

Clearly not hearing anything I said, he grabbed my hips and pulled me flush against him, making me blush ten different shades of pink. I squeaked and stared at him, letting my jaw drop down to the floor. What in the hell was he doing? I'm not one of his play things! I mean not that I don't enjoy being this close to him (although it is making me rather weak in the knees.) but still!

His grip on my hips sent small sparks on my sides, where his hands were.

Ichigo's breathing on my face let me take in the intoxicating smell of the alcohol in his breath and I pulled back. My heart squeezed and I removed his hands away from my hips.

Excuse my French, but _fuck_.

The love of my life was drunk and the only reason he was being this close and acting so touchy feel was because he was drunk. Just great.

Not letting go of his hands, I dragged him away from the damn packed crowd and tried to look for the door. Me and my stupid height.

"R-Rukia, where are you taking me?" Ichigo said a bit slurred, staring at me like I was crazy.

I sighed, feeling my eyes water a bit. "C'mon moron. I'm driving us home."

* * *

The car ride was silent since Ichigo knocked out in the passengers seat, snoring all the way back to the apartment.

Strange as it is, cars were still honking and lights were still blaring at midnight.

As soon as I parked I tried to wake Ichigo up but he wouldn't budge.

Lousy craptastic person he is.

I pulled his arm around my shoulders and tried to lift him up, effectively hitting my head on the top rim of the car. Stupid car.

It took nearly ten minutes for me to drag Ichigo's stupid ass up the stairs and by then all the grunts and effort I put into carrying him seemed dumb since I should've just left him at the bottom of the staircase.

**Step 5. **

Burn some damn calories.

_Status:_ **Complete**. I'm pretty sure I lost about fifteen pounds just lugging him around.

Ichigo's eyes blinked open as he noticed the front door to our apartment was open and there was air conditioning. "Hey wait, stop." He mumbled, almost incoherently, trying to push himself off of me.

I huffed, already irritated and feeling a stab of pity for myself about the earlier situation.

"What is it? Did you forget something in the ca—"I yelped at the sudden interruption and the sudden hold Ichigo had on my wrist. He pushed me against the wall of the apartment and brought a hand to the wall beside my head.

I probably could've shit bricks at that moment, but instead I gulped and felt a small drop of sweat roll down my forehead.

And for some odd reason, Ichigo leaned in and stared directly at me, trying to decipher something.

"Rukia…you…I…" He said, his breathing a bit ragged. My eyes widened at the tinge of pink on his cheeks. It was probably due to all the alcohol he consumed only twenty minutes ago.

My heart was beating so hard and fast that I'm almost positive it would've popped out of my chest or it would've recreated the scene from the Matrix where that thing comes out of that guy's stomach.

I shivered at the thought and the proximity between Ichigo and me.

His hold on my wrist radiated warmth and shot sparks down my veins.

My bottom lip quivered and he noticed, his amber eyes not leaving my lips.

"Ichigo," I started out firmly, but felt my voice waver. "What are you doing?"

His eyes moved away from my lips and stared into mine. "I…" He said, almost sounding confused.

His lips were hovering above mine and my heart was thumping like a wild rabbit.

For a moment it looked like he was going to pull away, but then he did it. One of the most unexpected things that I had dreamed of.

He kissed me.

And then in a flurry of heat, mild confusion on his part, and an odd kind of pleasure for me, I grabbed his short, bright colored hair, pulling myself closer to him.

Like in every romantic situation of any sort, he wound his arms around my waist, and kissed me back more aggressively, making me hit the back of my head against the wall.

"Ow!" I laughed, removing my hand from his hair and laughing.

There was a slight smirk on Ichigo's face at my action, before he dropped back down towards my mouth.

I think my heart might've exploded. If it was possible. Which it might be. I think.

Without even thinking, I grabbed the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head, shutting the door to the apartment closed and leading us towards an open door (hopefully it wasn't the bathroom).

Aware of what I was trying to do (although really, what was I trying to do?) he grabbed my thighs and lifted me up, letting me wrap my legs around his waist. Without the height differences it was easier to access his face and oh so beautiful lips and my head started to spin (not literally of course) at the toe curling kisses he was giving me. I grinned at the way his hold on my legs tightened, feeling unmistakably happy and light headed.

My arms curled around his neck and I smiled against his lips. Since I'm so immature, I giggled and moved my mouth away to breathe. I didn't want to suffocate and die against him though! How unattractive would that be? Although, if anything, I probably would've died from cardiac arrest since my heart was more than likely flying around somewhere in my ribcage.

"I'm not a fish dummy! I have to breathe!" I muttered, tugging at his soft hair.

"No really, I wouldn't have guessed." He said huskily, licking his lips.

"Oh shut up."

Ichigo attacked my mouth, causing us to fall on my bed and my shirt to ride up all the way to my bra. Oh crap, what bra was I wearing? I swear if it's my Spiderman printed one I'm going to jump off a bridge.

Again, and to my dismay, Ichigo laughed, throwing his head back, finding something hilarious.

"What are you laughing at?" For good measure I smacked his bare chest. Wow, I might even go blind looking at his bare chest. It's so…dazzling. Har har har. His bare chest and body hovering over me! Oh gosh I think I died!

"You're wearing your Spiderman bra that I got for your birthday." He mumbled, dipping his head and coming inches within my face.

Damn it!

I would've hit him if his warm breath wasn't on my neck, and he started placing tiny kisses on collarbone, tickling me. Stupid Ichigo.

"Why're you so beautiful?" He mumbled, his lips moving against my skin. I tried not to smile.

But amidst all of this, I realized one thing; fuck, I think he's still drunk.

* * *

As soon as I woke up the sun made me want to become a hermit and wish I had better curtains.

I attempted to get out of bed until I heard a groan and an incoherent murmur. Ha, like there could ever be ghosts in my apartment.

It wasn't a good idea to look where the noise was coming from, because I'm pretty sure all the blood immediately rushed out of my face as soon as I saw the naked body on my bed, it's lower half covered by my turquoise bed sheets.

* * *

Steps On How To Subtly, but not obnoxiously, get the uber mega hot guy that you want.

**Step 10 1/2.**

Never _ever_ engage in drunken sex with uber mega hot guy that you want unless you're already in a relationship with him.

_Status:_ **Failed. **Already happened last night. Bullocks.

* * *

**a/n:** BLAH BLAH BLAH. i'm sorry that this chapter was so bad. I literally wrote it in a day and a half. I just wanted to get this chapter out for the people who still read this so they won't think I'm dead.

**p.s.** if you can't tell, I'm not dead and I am EXTREMELY sorry I haven't updated…tee hee.

**p.p.s.** btw's, i'm also thinking of rewriting since I have just reread this and yeah...guh.

**p.p.p.s**. uggghhhh. All of you now know I can't write kissing scenes. Poop. And boohoo.

Tell me all about it dahlings!


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